Celebrate Life, Celebrate Your Differences ♥

Chapter 645 - Meme inspired; toilets.

2012-01-19T08:58:00.004+08:00

I'm feeling pretty miserable right now but I'm not gonna drown my blog in emo.

So..

..toilets.

One thing that almost every restaurant or public building should have is, yes, a toilet. Malaysia has really disgusting public toilets but I suppose I've seen worse.

In China, I had to use a longkang as a toilet and this granma next to my sis fell asleep while pooping. The stench was beyond aw-some, it was awful.

What really bothers me [ and makes me cringe in the toilet] is that when I go in, I see either the toilet seat with shoe marks or it's all wet.

THE WHOLE SEAT.

I have to take rolls tissue just to clean up after your disgusting mess, girls, killing trees in the process.

You won't like Liesl Tan when she goes green. [Teehee!]

Seriously, what do you do in the toilets!? I imagined it like this:

Random[not to mention disgusting] girl ;

I need to use toilet.

[Uses clean,dry toilet]

Ho hum,I shall spray the ENTIRE toilet seat with water JUZ FOR FUNNNN.

Me;

[Goes into toilet]

Sunway should pay me for being a toilet cleaning person. Sheesh. Can't believe all the germs I had to touch with my hands! What more if sitting on my butt.

Sick.

So yes,this goes out to Sunway girls who don't know how to use toilets properly!

Chapter 644 - Ring ring.

2011-11-23T11:28:00.004+08:00

"Hey! Do you want to go out next week? Just spend time together for a few hours..?"

"I can't..I've got to study. You know that."

Sigh.

"What's the matter?Are you alright?"

"It's just that..You don't spend time with me anymore."

"I do! We still talk on the phone almost every other day and.."

"It's not the same! If you talk to your friends on the phone all the time, it's not the same as physically going out with them ,is it? I'm upset about how I've been asking you to go out with me and you always giving me the same response-'I have to study'. You say you need to study but you're off doing everything else but studying. You have time for your friends,why not just some time for me,y' know?"

"When I go out with my friends, I don't have a choice sometimes. They just come and pick me up from my place. How can I say no?"

"You always have a choice."

"Fine. We'll go out next week. I don't have to study."

"That's beside the point! Now you're obliged to go out with me."

"No,I'm serious, let's GO OUT."

"You're not getting the point. It's about sacrifice. I've sacrificed my time for you during my busy schedule and I've sacrificed a lot more too.I only expect the same of you."

This story just hit me like a C-4.

This sounds so much like what my realtionship is like..

..with God.

There's a bit of error if you're relating the ENTIRE conversation to biblical truth,but you get the whole picture.

God didn't just sacrifice SOME time for us, He sacrificed His only son who was innocent and didn't deserve to die at all.

We also have choices to make. Whne we have exams, it feels like we don't have a choice because we NEED to study.

Jesus had a pretty hectic schedule too, if you didn't realize: Heal people, train disciples, eat,sleep,walk a million km to another town, preach, baptize, cast demons out of little children, rasie the dead.

In fact, he was probably the busiest person on Earth then.

Though he was busy, he took time away from everything to just spend time alone with His father.

Also, we can always be praying to God,but reading His word is just as important for growing in Him:)

God is waiting for us in the living room of our hearts.

But we've been given the choice to make the call.

So,what's your call today?

Chapter 643 - Nothing.

2011-11-03T17:19:00.003+08:00

Ignore my rants please. It's gonna waste your time just as much as it did mine.

I think I've been lying to myself everytime someone asks me..

"How's life?"

"How's college?"

"How are you?"

People tend to pose answers so that people wouldn't ask further questions. LIke if I say I'm not ok, people tend to question. So, people just give answers that people would expect to hear.

"Life is ok."

"College's good"

"I'm ok. Same old same old."

All lies.

You can derive that from my name.

Apologies for lying to other people indirectly because I just realized how much I've been lying about how my life is going to my mind.

I kinda regret A Levels. If it weren't for the lecturers,I would've switched courses.As much as I like to believe I'm a "cool" nerd that has the capacity to study and bring out the most of her brain cells. However, I've been questioning myself whether if I was even made for this. Studying all the freaking time.

Mom says God gave us a brain,so we should use it.

Does that mean we jeopardize everything else for something my brain can do? My muscles can do things as well.So why can't I play sports for a living? Unfortunately,we have to live up to the standards of the stererotyped Msian life and how the world values our worth.

If we're smart,we have value.If you play sports,but not Lee Chong Wei, mei you worth.

Let's face it! Which parent would be proud of their child who fails?It's sad how kids now [as you can see, I'm probably referring to myself] have to study and work so hard just so to find self-worth.

Why I say this?

When I fail or don't understand things or people understand them way better than I do, I beat myself up so hard. "Why can't I be like her? Why can't I be like him? Why can't I understand this but everyone else can?"

Now,I'm not blaming my parents. But I do feel the pressure.

Just today at class, my classmates were all chatting and having fun doing their work. I was busy struggling my way through 2 hours of math. I'm so jealous of the way people live. How do they do it? They claim they don't study but their geniuses in class. If they study at home, I wonder how they even find time to spend with their families or even sports!

I honestly hate A Levels.

I have to apologize to my friends[esp Aunty] who always invite me out to hang with them for lunch and stuff,but I always seem to want to be alone. It's true. I prefer doing work because I'm way behind and I'd rather not waste time chatting because there's so much that needs to be done!

Honestly,I do feel left out. When people start speaking chinese..or when they're gossiping and I don't know what they're talking about..or when they make inside jokes and I'm just awkward there. I'm ok with being oblivious.Really! But..I do miss the days where I talk to my friends about music,or do crazy things, or have study groups..or even laughing. I miss laughing. I don't remember when's the last time,or the first where I let out a genuine belt of laughter in college.

I keep telling my friends, I belong in CIMP or CPU where everyone dresses up for halloween or when they do projects together,or when they write english essays and let out expressions or when they play frisbee in the auditorium. People there are so alive and happy [at least on the surface]. I ask myself, what in the world am I doing in A-Levels.

I'm not happy here. I guess A-Levels wasn't introduced to make students feel happy. A-Levels is meant for robots who have no clear direction of they want to do with their God-given lives on Earth.

Why can't they have proper courses that help build character instead of just books books BOOKS FREAKING BOOKS ALL THE TIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

All I feel like doing now is swearing.

My sister had so many friends,so much fun in Mass Comm. My bro actually made friends though he had to shift college.

When I first started college,people knew me as the extremely happy girl. I'm still that girl but..

I don't know where I went wrong.

Sucks being me for the mo.

Emmanuel.

2011-10-09T21:26:00.001+08:00

How was your weekend?

I spent it..crying.

Chapter 642 - "We got a new dog!"

2011-08-31T18:42:00.004+08:00

So..we sent Sophie for grooming. The following are the first reactions at the sight of my chihuahua,I mean my Shih Tzu,Sophie.

Mom ; Oh no.
Liesl; AHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Brother; WHAT HAPPENED TO SOPHIE!?!
Dad; Hmph. So ugly.
Sister; Ohmygosh,she looks like another dog,a pug or something!
Linda [My maid] ; Gasp.

She was at lost for words.

Sophie's been depressed eversince she got home. She must be feeling it too with all the faces and pity she's been getting from everyone.

Who knew dog's could have bad hair days too?

Ink Writing finale:
Tag,you're it! - Gabe Bondoc

Chapter 641 - Order in the court!

2011-08-14T12:48:00.003+08:00

I only blog when I find the serious need to. Just a quickie today.

I'm gonna be openly honest. I'm in a dry patch now. But I'm trying to get back on track.

Making time for Him is usually the issue for me.

Pastor David Wong mentioned in his sermon today that Christians are the ones who judge the most because we live by certain standards and we know what standards other people [our other fellow Christians] are supposed to live by as well.

I'm starting to feel it;the pressure.

One thing about people is that they always remember the things you don't do instead of the things you do. Hope no one holds anything against me just because I didn't fulfill my "requirements".

Then again,it's equally as challenging for others to take it in and just accept it.

Please accept the fact that I'm just as imperfect as everyone else.

Study time.

Chapter 640 - "What's your surname?"

2011-07-22T19:46:00.004+08:00

I haven't blogged about college yet have I..

College has been very tuition-like I would say. I love the lecturers that I've got,to be honest. Can't really complain about them much. Though,I DO freak out when they freak out at us. I absolutely love Sunway. Mainly because I finally get to be a normal kid and train in Frisbee with experienced seniors.

People find it strange that I came to Sunway because they have a field as well. Well, sports matters to me like THIS MUCH. Ah, my expressions are limited by the keyboard, but you know what I mean:)

I haven't exactly found my place in class. I guess it's like RBS all over again except that people here wouldn't understand you as much. I haven't unleashed the real Liesl yet. Probably only Rong Qi has seen it but only because she was my classmate for 2 yrs. Makes you really appreciate the high school friends that are just as crazy and put up with your craziness.

As for the lecturers, my Bio lecturer threatens to kill me half the time which I find really amusing because she's quite a cool teacher,however, she can be very intimidating.My Physics lecturer is the reason why I dropped Psychology. Ahaha! Now now, I dropped Psychology because he makes Physics fun. Dunno if y'all were thinking what I was thinking that you guys were thinking. My Chem lecturer is absolutely bubbly and hip. My maths lecturer is cute in a sense where when she talks, she'll stop halfway and say "Wait..what am I doing...?". She has been rumored to be not the best teacher in Maths but she's enough for me:)

I think I forgot how to make friends:/

Oh I forgot to explain my blogpost title! The above is basically how one of my classmates started a convo with me. I replied with these words:

"Yes, I'm chinese."

..and proud to be one:D

Chapter 639.5 - rant.

2011-07-15T23:25:00.002+08:00

I feel empty. I feel dry. I don't feel.

It's not about feelings, I know that.

It's like piano, I know that too.

I know I need you, but why don't I feel like I do?

I feel like I've ditched a friend for some other.

I knew this would happen, this happens to everyone.

It's tough being who I am and trying not to bring others down by being what I shouldn't be.

At times, I just wish I could take a break to withdraw and get back on track.

So that, I wouldn't have to feel guilty about doing things without the right heart in place.

But if I'm supposed to do it, I just have to though you may know what I'm really feeling.

Sometimes,I just feel like running away.

Maybe I should've gone for it.

I want to take the backdoor to the place where I feel free.

To deal with the rough patch I'm in right now.

I'm at the all-time low of the year.

Give me time,please:/

♥

Chapter 639 - Start of a bad ending

2011-07-15T23:11:00.002+08:00

Twiggie time.

badminton.

ow.

confidence; fail.

twice.

time of the month.

Awesooome Irony of Leslie Noobkhins.

humbling humiliation.

missing God.

circumstances?

maybe.

Ink Writing finale:

Sometimes, circumstances are used to help you realize things. To Frankie, it was a nagging constant reminder, but at least it kept her in check.

Annoying? It can be. Maybe.

Chapter 638 - Respectacular.

2011-07-05T19:20:00.006+08:00

I quote myself and many of my friends ..

" I can't wait to start classes."

I know those words will come biting me in my butt once I reach A2 or something but for now, that's how I really feel.

Honestly, orientation was so boring. Usually,I would picture orientation to be a time where you get to know your fellow course mates. I'm green with envy when I hear stories from Farhan about how he signed up for this and that club. The A Levels students were instead forced to buy a tee if not we weren't allowed to leave the hall. [ Not like I couldn't escape la, but it's only courtesy] Plus,the tees were nice.

People wearing the tees,not so:/

One thing has been ringing in my mind : Respect.

Through school, I try my very best to respect the teachers. It is my code. I wish every teacher I pass by, I say thank you, sorry or good morning when necessary. In class,I try my very best to give full focus to the teachers[ just like a stalker] because it makes them feel like the students care.

Funny how I got this weird principle of life. I'm probably every teacher's worst nightmare[ not anymore laaaaa]when I was in kindergarten or primary school because I confess that I used to be chatterbox. If you think I'm bad now, imagine what I was when I was younger :O

One day, a teacher of mine called me to get her a leaf [?!?!] far away from the class for a presentation. Being naive and a bit coughsuckupcough, I went. When I came back, I passed my teacher the leaf. Next, she asked me..

"Alright Liesl, now, I want you to tell EVERYONE about yourself. Anything, you can go on and on and on.."

At first,I was shy. I knew something was up because the whole class was quiet[ what class is quiet you tell me?!]. But that didn't really bother me. So..you guessed it, I rambled on.

Next thing you know it, the whole starts talking while I'm giving my self-absorbed speech in front. I became so disorientated in my speech and I couldn't focus. I tried speaking louder, trying hopefully to get their attention..

..but no avail.

In the end, I gave up and looked at my teacher. Humiliated to the point of tears. And she said..

"Chuckle*.Alright Liesl, you can take a seat. Now class, be quiet.Liesl, how did you feel when nobody was listening to you?" [Ok,from this point onwards,I'm just going to picture what I thought I did because I can't exactly remember what happened after that horrible experience:P]

"Angry..?"

"You're right. You see class..that's how I feel. That's how all the teachers feel when they teach you. So class,the lesson is not to talk when the teacher is talking. The teacher doesn't feel nice when you aren't listening."

I slumped in my chair.

Now,knowing me back then, a small std 2 girl, I probably was furious and disliked every gut in that teacher for putting me in such a position. However since then, I've never looked at teachers the same way again.

All I have is her to thank:)

In fact,whenever anyone speaks up front in a crowd, I give them the attention because that's what they want. If you don't give them that, I can tell you first-hand,they will feel dejected, hurt and deceived. They might never want to talk in front of a crowd ever again.

Because that's EXACTLY how I felt.

Whenever someone's talking, anybody, be it in a formal meeting [including church meetings, sermons, giving testimony, announcements,sharing etc] or just a mamak session, listen why don't you. Give them the respect they deserve. Even in class, I try not to talk to my friends if best as possible because I have a guilty conscience when I do.

Everybody, do the people a favor and put on your respect spectacles [respect-acles] to keep your eyes on them [for the right reasons please-_-]

Be respect-acular for those who deserve it.

Ink Writing finale:

Farida sang.

Frankie listened.

"Ah, still as lovely as the first day."

Chapter 637 - Baby step No. 1

2011-07-04T17:29:00.002+08:00

"I'm a big big girl in a big big world.."

I think I'm still very numb to the whole idea of college. Today was the first day and I honestly felt like just being so independent and roaming by myself. I'll bring a book with me tomorrow I suppose. I guess going back to studying, I probably just wanted to get over with the whole registration process and start.

My brain is getting hungry.

The biggest challenge for me would be trying to stay awake EVERYDAY from 8.00am-5.00pm. I'm not the kind of person who has enough energy for that! I could barely stay awake in RBS without siesta!

The second biggest challenge would probably be managing everything in my life in good proportion. My friends, my family, my studies, youth, God. Isn't gonna be easy from the way the A Levels lady was trying to warn us of what we've gotten into though she kept saying " You've made the right choice.."

Why A Levels?

Lots of people ask me that. I don't like studying, but I don't mind it. I'm SO not an assignment person, so all other courses were crossed out and A Levels was the only option [I think]. I'm just wondering if I made the right choice of taking 4 subjects. I could get into uni better with 4. But..I'm not quite sure if I could cope:/

I honestly can't wait to get to my class and feel the awkwardness of meeting new people:) Wonder which group I'll fit into since I've had many many different social circles before. Just curious. I met a Nigerian girl today too!

Also, I want to play futsal so badly. Craving. @Arjund Gunaseharan,please!! Futsal on Sunday:D Thank kiuu:D

Ink Writing finale:

Gonna be a hard-knock life for Frankie.

Chapter 636 - Strange Encounters

2011-06-26T22:56:00.003+08:00

The other day, I had this very strange encounter with..

..a lovely [not!!!] cockroach.

Everyone who knows me knows I absolutely have this phobia of insects,especially the fat, juicy ones..that can fly.

The cockroach I found was being attacked by Sophie out of curiosity. Heh, curiosity kills the cockroach. I shoo-ed her away in a attempt to SAVE the "teenage" cockroach. It wasn't a baby or an adult, so I assume it's a teenage roach. The roach was pretty weak already. However, being human, I had to kill it before it escapes and breeds in the house. I grabbed a roll of newspaper and went close to the roach.

I swung my arm towards the floor and SMACK!

I knew instantly my smack wasn't hard enough to kill.

My next thought was : "Oh no!!"

The roach ran around like a headless chicken, and I screamed and danced like a chicken and Sophie reacted to my screaming instead of the running headless chicken cockroach.

I didn't hit it hard enough because I honestly didn't want to kill it.

No matter how much I'm afraid of insects, I love them at the same time. Mosquitos and flies are different cases. As for ants, I try very hard not to kill them.

I'm pretty sure I've murdered many ants in the past, but unintentionally of course.

If grasshoppers didn't hop and cockroaches wouldn't fly, I would catch them in a container and set them free..FAR FAR AWAY FROM MY HOUSE. I can't find the heart to kill them.

My reasoning is simple. God created them too. Imagine you were an insect and people stepped on you. I don't like the feeling of death, what more if I were an insect, to be smacked or poisoned to death.

Practising mercy on cockroaches is tough.

Chapter 635 - whattheabcdedfghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz

2011-06-22T23:53:00.005+08:00

I haven't been myself lately. [what's new right?]

BOTH my knees have been giving way and I'm getting sad about that because plenty of painful memories are dawning upon me. I take every step with this annoying pain in the joint and I just can't help but think/worry about what might happen if this pain prolongs.

I've been feeling pretty lonely since parents left.It's been only Day 3. I'm stuck at home with nothing to do [actually,plenty,but I just choose not to do them because I don't feel motivated to do so]. I guess I draw energy from being with people because that's the way I work.

Please, I'm not some superfreak.

Being with people just makes me happier. Certain people, I would say.

Everything's becoming awkward for me. I can't go to bed or wake up without having a clear conscience or mind because it's always filled up with dumb problems I don't even want to deal with.

Ink Writing finale:
I want to stop feeling.

Chapter 634 - Frankie

2011-06-22T16:51:00.003+08:00

"I lied..

..only because I couldn't even be honest with myself."

Ink Writing finale:

Light-Emitting Diode - ON.

Chapter 632 - Mommay

2011-06-20T14:40:00.003+08:00

Set: The Vanilla Place@ Empire Gallery after Dorothy Perkins.

Mom: We should do this more often. Try on clothes before lunch.

Liesl: Huh? Why??

Mom: Because if you try on clothes, then you cannot fit, you would want to diet for lunch. Save money.

Liesl: Ahahahaha!!!

After that conversation, we ordered nachos, Pesto pasta, Caesar salad, and Turkey Ham quiche. It was so much that there was no more room on the table by the time the last dish arrived. The waiter in disbelief smiled; probably trying to hide his shock.

We finished everything except for half an egg and cucumber. But oh, if you cucumber wasn't bitter..I would've eaten it all.

I think since mom's away, I'll probably lose weight D:

Gonna miss ya mom.

Chapter 631 - What the Flicka!

2011-06-20T14:16:00.002+08:00

11am is just too early to cry in the day la. [non emo post]

A mean and very expensive boat has kidnapped my parents, my aunties,my uncles and my cousins to a land far far away.

>:(

Actually,to many lands far away.

They all left for a trip around Europe this morning. For one month. D: I could've gone but nooo.. I had to start college. Meh.

But that's not why I cried! Hee. I cried because I was watching too many emo programmes this morning. Flicka 2 is one of them. I cried my eyes out when this girl who's broken inside had her wild black mustang, Flicka, taken away from her after her mom passed away[ I think lah because I only watched the movie half way]. Soon after she managed to save her horse from getting to slaughterhouse, she had to set her mustang free into the wild again to avoid getting killed by mean people.

As she would say " Flicka healed my broken spirit."

After that,I watched the episode in Grey Anatomy 6 where O' Malley [Georgie] had got into an accident and was brain dead. Why so drama wan Season 6!?

Kind sad that my parents left. Mornings are going to be quieter than usual. Lunch will be lonely too. Hopefully I won't starve dinner or eat alone in case my siblings come back from work late.

Oh I totally forgot about lunch!Here I come chicken rice and Pulpy!

Ink Writing finale:

Attachments. Select file. ♥?

Chapter 630 - Soph Opera

2011-06-16T19:40:00.006+08:00

"Ngeh, I don't like the wind!!"

Ohmaigoodness. The only reason why I would sit in my garden for 45 mins being infected by grass flies and mosquitoes would be because of the newest addition to our family.

Why sit in the mosquito infested garden?

Because she refuses to poo.

Why do we need to stay with her 24/7?

So that she does not EAT her poo.

Why must walk around with her in the garden?

So we can spray some ammonia liquid on the grass to produce some odour that would urge her to do her business.

After much effort of making weird sounds and screaming at her to poo [since it was already dark-_-], I gave up and went back in with her. Unfortunately..

Mom wouldn't let her into the house as long as she hasn't pooped. Which means.. Liesl isn't allowed in the house till dog poop is produced D:

I went back out and sat on the tiles and commanded Sophie to poop. I tried shaking the poop outta her but it didn't work. Normally, she would circle around a spot several times before she poops. She gave me plenty of false hope by doing ONE circle, or a U-Turn. Never was I so excited to see a dog circling.

Mom refused to give up, so she came out and tried to entice Soph to poop. I sat with KC [while she was trying too chew a pebble-_-] in the bylines watching Sophie attempting to escape over and over again with her cuteness so she could enter the house.

The pebble-chewing dog, KC.

In the end, she didn't do it. Thankfully, we went in. And..

..we found her poop under a table INSIDE the house.

Welcome, Sophie Tan, to the family:D

"Hey, look at me. I'm a cute ee wok. Please squish and squeeze me."

"I like blocking up the drain with my fats. Squee."

Chapter 629 - G-Force

2011-06-15T19:15:00.002+08:00

I had the opportunity to reconnect with one of my ex-schoolmates.

Her name is Parvinsantini.

I was very close to her and another girl, Yvonne Hong Yee Wern, in primary school. We were inseparable. We used to play around the USJ2 padang bukit. All the memories that Parvin and I spoke about when we met up during our JPJ driving exam. It was nostalgic.

My entire highschool life, I barely spoke to Parvin and Yee Wern though we met up once in Form 2 for old times sake:) I parted from the trio when I became a prefect and we ended up in different classes altogether.

I enjoyed the conversations I had with Parvin. She's hilarious. I would laugh at almost everything she says.cause' she's that funny;) She was great company during the whole period of nerves and waiting for our turn. It would always be her going before me or vice verse. My instructor even asked me to sit in with her while she drove. Not sure why, but "okay!" I said. We joked so much when we were taking turns to drive!

Through out the entire time,I was thinking..

She's still the same Parvin I knew.

The other thing I was thinking..

I wonder what she's been thinking about me the whole 5 years of secondary school.

I may sound perasan but from what I've heard from my close girlfriends when they first saw me was that didn't look approachable.I guess it was simply because I hung out with certain people [ who aren't that scary at all:P]. Once I unleashed the inner Liesl, the problem wasn't approaching me, the problem was Liesl approaching them! I'm just kidding, but you get what I mean:)

First impressions.

Mom told me to wear my grey pumps, jeans and tee to college instead of my usual slippers combo.

What impression will my lecturer get I wonder..?

Special thanks to GOD, Eirene Chow Babi, Wei Li, Kheng Kin for keeping me company through the SMS portal while I was waiting for the cows to come home [ waiting for my turn to drive] and also for all the encouragements:D Mom,thanks for reminding me to always pray before my exam. Chi, thanks for celebrating with me [yey] and Ko, thank you for expressing that you don't have to fetch me around anymore.

To God be given the full credit!

He held the rain for the entire embargo of examinees and gave us cool wind to counter the sweltering heat. Above all, He kept me calm during my exam and I was humbled, just like what I prayed for:)

Chapter 627 - I've made a mess of me

2011-06-12T19:47:00.003+08:00

Sundays always seem to be more reflective days. Especially after sports. Though sometimes it doesn't even have to do with the sport.

In the past few days, I'm slowly desensitizing to sympathy for others. In other words, I'm becoming more and more sarcastic when I speak. I could be mean and hurtful,but when I talk, I'm edging the fine line of going overboard. I might actually hurt someone's feelings.

I've been getting very easily annoyed lately,though I quickly forget mistakes during the days. I try to think of others above myself, but when someone messes up, what do you do? Sacrifice and suffer? Or rebuke and be satisfied that I've said my peace..? It comes down to.." Ohmaigoodness, why can't you think ahead more, like duh?" Sigh.

I'm starting to be a really private person. I usually would tell the world everything about Liesl Tan till stalkers don't even have to stalk me kinda thing. But lately,I'd just rather not talk to anyone about certain things because I don't feel comfortable. I tell things to specific people in confidence.Sometimes they assume things,then spread rumours that they think is truth. It's not their fault that they assume they're right when they tell other people things. Perhaps I should state more that whatever I say, I say in confidence. I realized that when I'm uncertain about matters and I tell someone, I'll become even more uncertain because of the other person's hand in my mess.

All these things eventually,as I've so far convinced myself, is my fault. Why can't I be more sensitive like I used to, why can't I decide properly, why can't I keep my mouth shut[Once again, thank you Farhan for buying pink duct tape for my bday last year:)].. Is it really my fault?

Now I'm thinking, am I blogging about this because I'm seeking sympathy I don't deserve?For someone to tell me it's ok, it's perfectly normal?

Or am I over thinking everything..?:/

Inquisitive state I am in.

Chapter 626 - Harsh Humility

2011-06-09T19:26:00.002+08:00

I told my youth the other day I had an issue with pride. Here was another case of it.

I had my driving exam yesterday.

I was so confident [maybe over..?] that I would pass my circuit exam. Why? I've practiced over 15 times and never failed my parking once. It was perfect. Not to brag or anything, just merely clarifying why I was so carefree about parking.

It was the slope I was biting my nails for!

When the JPJ guy said "Keluar", my heart sank. I couldn't help but feel upset and flustered. The head JPJ officer told me to take a seat after submitting my GAGAL form. I calmed down a little, trying very hard to convince myself not to crack.

When the JPJ officer told me" Nombor 4! Ah masuk kereta tu, nombor 4." there I was sitting like a clueless duck,slowly walking to the No. 4 car. I got in, got focus and started my road exam. My mind was blank. Either that or too many things were going through my mind that I couldn't concentrate on just one.

After a calm 20 mins or so, I got out of the car, puzzled and shocked.

God gave me a second chance at driving after humbling me to a child with no confidence but simple faith. He heard my prayer. I cried as I spoke to God because I was so grateful, deep down. He taught me humility.

Thank You God for the 16/20 :)

I still failed my parking,meaning I gotta resit just the circuit. I'm still trusting God:)

Chapter 625 - Conscious of God

2011-06-05T21:41:00.003+08:00

Lack of sleep led me to prayer. Strangely enough, it did because I was praying against the temptation to fall asleep during service.

God was my help and still is; didn't fall asleep:)

In the few hours I was at church, I was in an environment where God could speak millions to me. I was impacted by the testimonies of each youth during youth prayer meeting and I was greatly challenged and also encouraged.

Thank you, TRU-ers:)

I was reminded about appreciating the little things in life.

I was reminded that God is a God of many languages.

I was reminded of how I must be humble. But if I boast, I boast in the Lord,giving all glory to Him.

I was reminded of how we are all special for who we are.

Since camp, I've been reflecting a lot about my YF. I'm 18, it's my last year here as a youth. I have to say for the past 6 months, I've seen the youth grow so much and the feeling I have now is unexplainable. I've seen youths come out of their comfort zones, I've seen the youths put their 100% in things they were assigned to do, I'm seeing the youth getting closer like a family.

It's truly a privilege to be serving here as one of the youth leaders. The youth have been more of a blessing to me than I am to them.

To the post form 5-ers, I'm really so thankful and encouraged by you guys. I've seen the way you are around the younger youths and I can see the genuine love you have for them. Let's impact the youth while we still can:D

I end with a quote from the inspiring Eirene Chow Babi, a facilitator in PJEFC:)

" We weren't there to tell them[the youth] how to walk with God, but to walk TOGETHER with God. We're all on the same journey."

Chapter 624 - D Grade

2011-06-04T22:07:00.003+08:00

7.30am.

Little did I know, I was headed straight for another slap in my face.

God really uses Ultimate to open my eyes,doesn't He?:)

I have to admit, I have pride when it comes to Ultimate. It's definitely unusual to find a girl who can play Ultimate, but then again,maybe it's just in Seafield. Justin shouldn't have called me Captain, rar. I bring shame to that name.

I played horribly today, I dropped discs that I could've caught with ease,I pulled my thigh muscle[ what's new with Liesl right] and I have zero stamina. Either lack of stamina or just pure laziness.

In Ultimate, I always try to gain trust from new people I play with so that people would pass the disc. I gained their trust and lost it within a few minutes of the game. It was so bad. I kept telling Justin how noobish I felt and how I felt so degraded playing.

For the first time, in a long time, I got the "what a noob" look. I lost the trust and throwing a disc to me would be considered very risky, not knowing whether I would catch it. I honestly could say I was thinking the same thing; risky.

I got constructive criticism and I'm appreciative of that. I'll learn to play better and eventually earn respect back when I play the next time.

A humbling experience today and God showed me that I should be humble about what I could do instead of..showing off. Don't judge me please:/

I guess waking at 7.30am was worth it.

Chapter 623 - piano;soft

2011-06-03T12:02:00.006+08:00

Piano class. Groan.

I ♥ my teacher, she's so cool and patient. However,I just don't like playing exam pieces which I have been playing since forever because yes, for those who don't play piano, it takes ages to get the songs right.

It's that tough.

Other than the pieces and scales,I enjoy class. Today, we did au

ral. Aural is basically listening,singing, tembakking,explaining and pretending like you know the answers.

I sat on the sofa with my teacher as we listened to the CD play the pieces. Basically, I have to guess the time period where the song was written and explain my answer in terms of the mood of the song or totally no key at all[atonal] etc. It was nice just listening as my teacher and I described the song as if they were actual people.

Here's my take on music periods.

Romantic period♥

*raise eyebrows. Speaks for itself la. It's super emotional and really expressive. Just imagine a pianist swaying from left,right,up,down,left,center,forward,backward.Kinda like an elegant Ray Charless,less charismatic:) It's the kind of music you hear when you're on a candlelight dinner date or something.

Baroque [BAH-ROK] period

This is call "UGLY" music. Because it sounds really horrible. Even the name sounds horrible. Yet, it is still music. To me, it's like banging the piano keys without any notes. Just hentam la! *shudder. I imagine pianist of this time with mad hair.

Renaissance period

Yez,I got excited when I saw this word in our form 5 Sejarah textbook. The mu

sic during this time very medieval. You can imagine scenes of King Arthur or Robin Hood when renaissance plays! You can hear as if your left and right hand are questioning and answering each other. It's really cute music. Makes me laugh:D

Classical period

Beethoven. Mozart. Sophisticated. Fur Elise. Nuff' said.

20th century period

Ohmaigoodness. Thank goodness we're in the 21st already.Nah,I'm exag

gerating. 20th century can go really ugly sometimes,not as bad as baroque,but it's just weird music.Almost alien-like. However, it can go from one side of the spectrum to the other. Jazz is considered 20th century! Or any other contemporary pieces:) Might get to hear Beatles on piano or something. 20th century what.

I think I shall go play piano now.Perhaps I'll attempt The Lazy Song by Bruno Mars, because that's exactly how I feel right now.

likeabicycle!

---------------------

Sweet treats:B

Chapter 622 - Break vs.BRAKE!!

2011-05-26T20:02:00.005+08:00

I'm on a very long break from studies till July 6 and I have been slugging around the house like a giant sloth,leaving grime and slime behind me.Most of the grime I leave are empty food packets. I'm thinking of other things I ditch, but that seems to be the only thing!

Deluxe Vegetarian Biscuits (Y)

Seriously, the only constant thing I've been doing without fail is eating. I ate the whole jar of Famous Amos cookies because mom insisted it has been 'untouched'. Also, I've been waiting for her to say that the cookies have been collecting dust since Christmas so that I have an excuse to gobble everything. I finished a whole packet of jelly sticks which were totally scrumptious. 3-4 a day.

Motian jelly sticks ; addictive.

I had my driving test trial today.

This is how it went.

"NGAPA TAK BREK! ADA LORI NGAPA TAK BREK!! Awak ingat awak besi ah!?"

Fail.

I crashed into a curb, almost got hit by a really fast lorry due to not BRAKING at the roundabout, signaled at the wrong places,and probably went into the wrong lanes too.

fhsjklkgjhsdfjkgherutywpoqitwuie.

Oh well. Looking forward to more classes because I anti bribing!

Funny story concerning my driving instructor. He's old enough to be my granpa. He invites me for mamak halfway during class and makes me drive to the mamak place. For a moment, I thought he was hitting on me which was pretty scary. Maybe not la. I'll still be cautious anyways!

I realize a lot of things when I blog.

Thank God I didn't die today.

Chapter 621 - If I were a boy..

2011-05-24T16:26:00.004+08:00

"If you were a guy, I would so marry you" - Jane Lee.

The two of us would get married and be the first ever to have Skype marriage.

We might get married on a plane instead on the way to our honeymoon.

Our honeymoon shall be in Sipadan because it's the best place in the world.

We shall fight for the custody of our adopted kids since we live in two different countries.

I would be the hardworking one,and she will be the homeworking one.

"Do I have to say 'I want to marry you too!'..?"- Liesl Tan

"YESS!So, you'll marry me right?"

"I guess.."

"YOU GUESS!?!?"

And this is why she's my bestfriend:)

Totally missing you fats♥

Ah. It's been a while.

Chapter 620 - Being Ratatouille

2011-05-19T20:54:00.002+08:00

So..

..I had my first cooking challenge.

I've always been known to cooking only Maggi. Honestly, I've done quite a bit of baking at home and at school during ERT class. From Pandan pancakes to biscuits to muffins!:D

Btw,my Maggi is healthier than normal cooked Maggi:P

I decided to change the flavor of my cooking experience.

Savory,namely.

This taste better than it looks okay!

For all you spicy food lovers, I added chilli flakes to my specialty dish:) I forgot to take a picture when I added cheese, but oh well.It was so hot, I was choking after quality check.

Next up is homemade crab soup! Funny story about how my family only drinks homemade soup. When we visited my aunt in Holland, she successfully convinced my mom that all canned soup has "poison" in them a.k.a preservatives la. Hence,it's not good for health [Aren't most edible things..??] So, since then, mom has put her foot down on drinking ONLY non-poisonous soup.

I don't mind because mom's soups pawn Campbell's any day:B

Back to the soup. My maid,Linda, and I basically tembak-ed the entire order of the recipe. We knew we had to saute the onions first. That was it. After that, it was..

"Err..Linda, put the crab meat/sherry/wine/fish stalk/tomato paste now ah?"

And she would respond with..

"I think..can..la.."

Quite thankful there was once where she said "NOO!!!" with panic when I said I wanted to put the cream in at point of time. It was to be put at the end of the boiling.

At the end of the day, I had two bowls of the crabby goodness.

I'm getting very interested in spices and herbs. I went to Carrefour today and started sniffing the bottles of herbs on the shelf. Teehee. The workers were staring at me funny.

Mushroom pancake, I'm coming for ya next!

Nom.

Chapter 619 - "Hello..?Can I speak to God please?"

2011-05-18T16:32:00.003+08:00

"..and Lord, the house phone isn't working. I need it for loads of stuff....Amen."

While I was hair drying, my maid knocked on the bathroom door and passed me the house phone..

"Sel,your mom on the line."

I was shocked for a split second.

You see, our house phone hasn't been working for the past few weeks [months..?] because it's usually like that. It's been on and off and this was the second time it got fried! [No,I didn't cook it]I even tried so desperately to find another phone to see if our house line was working by plugging it into different telephone ports in the house.

Free calls,why WOULDN'T I be desperate?

So you could pretty much guess why I was shocked. After realizing mom was on the line, I took it and spoke to her.

Teehee. God really makes me laugh sometimes:)

Thanks You God for having a sense of humor!:D

Chapter 618 - Can't you see? She's in misery.

2011-05-09T12:12:00.003+08:00

I run ; I hide.

Dear God,

You told me something long ago and I have held myself accountable for it. Every time I read about her life, what she's going through, I feel helpless. I know I can help her. I know YOU can help her through me. So..why am I so scared? The fact that I barely know her? But it feels like I know a different side of her that wants to be known,though I don't know her personally. Discernment? Or just making assumptions..? Lord, it's about time I put my faith into action. I've been procrastinating too long and she's been suffering for far too long as well. Lord, please give me the courage and wisdom. I don't know where to begin either. Thanks for being a God of Mercy. I love You,You know that I do,Father:)

Love,

Liesl.

Everyday they pass me by,

I can see it in their eyes.

Empty people filled with care,

Headed who knows where?

On they go through private pain,

Living fear to fear.

Laughter hides their silent cries,

Only Jesus hears.

I am called to take His light

To a world where wrong seems right.

What would be too great a cost

For sharing life with one who's lost?

Through His love my heart can feel

All the grief they bear.

They must hear the words of life

Only I can share.

When will I realize that I must give my life,

For people need the Lord.

She needs You, Lord.

When will I realize that people need you ..even more than I do?

Chapter 617 - Blessed are those who are sick

2011-05-07T11:57:00.003+08:00

5 am; throat was so painful,I woke up.

Downstairs; drank 2 cups of cold water to soothe the pain.

Cupboard; looking for Difflam [Anti-inflammatory lozenges]

No sight of Difflam.

Prayed; Eureka!

'Hmm, looks kinda expired'; too desperate to care.

Tasted funny ; closed the cabinet.

'Something tells me I should look harder..'

Rummaged through again; the new box of UNEXPIRED Difflam!

Win ; thank You,God:)

On an even brighter note..

..good hair day!:D

Chapter 616 - A Walk to Remember

2011-05-05T19:28:00.003+08:00

Just so happens that today was one of the more melancholy days of Liesl's.

I was walking the road up to my house with some RBS-ers, namely the girl who hijacked my blog,Eirene Chow Chow, Ee May, Sammie and Ken Vyn.

Thanks,by the way, for dropping by:)

Music heals the soul. Besides God, music keeps me alive inside:) I bet most of you reading this could agree with me.

Today's just one of those days. One of those days where I just wanna sit..

..and listen.

Since there's no longer live music, iTunes will have to do for now:)

Ink Writing finale:

Someone asked me something I never realized till today..My answer?

Yeah,I guess..I kinda am.

Eirene is so awesome

2011-05-05T19:11:00.001+08:00

yeap she is. =)

Chapter 615 - My feet are getting cold

2011-03-17T22:21:00.002+08:00

Looking forward to this since my siblings went about 8-10 years ago. I all the more couldn't wait for it when my friends from 2010 batch came back with so many stories.

3 days to go and I'm having second thoughts.

I feel like I'm under pressure and a bit stressed out.

Expectations.Rebuke.

It's too late to take the decision back.

I'm gonna put up with it and see what happens.

I'm suddenly withdrawing.

Leave me alone,world.

I won't get a grip because you don't understand.

Guilt.

Chapter 614 - The family I never.

2011-03-16T16:16:00.003+08:00

Weekend: Youth retreat to El Sanctuary, Melaka!

Apparently,this was the first time where the TRU committee actually handled the entire retreat. I didn't know that either! Though there had to be many many meetings before retreats and there were times where I became mentally and physically exhausted, the entire experience was a blast:)

I did realize something at retreat. Sorry I didn't share this earlier at the sharing session. I have a blog to express my feelings,give other people chance to share their stories:) As we were doing our study on Purpose Driven Life, we learnt about family.Not your blood related family,but more like your spiritual family..?

I often refer to God when I talk to him as "Father" or "Lord". In that sense,He's family to me:) What I never really took notice of was the family I had at church. They were LIKE family to me, but I never thought of them as a REAL family. It was like I had an epiphany or something. How silly of me:)

To the TRU-ers,

Being one of the "oldest" among the student body at TRU, each one of you are like my little brothers and sisters. You guys [I'm referring to both guys and girls ya..] never fail to make me laugh or have a smile on my face. Sometimes you guys can push my buttons,but I can never lose my temper at you guys. You poke my mole also I don't get annoyed wan,unless you're Darrel then..maybe:P Kidding Darrel. I love you guys too much laaa!!! Sometimes you guys rebuke me for the things I say or do that's not God honoring,I appreciate that and I thank you for the times that some of you have:) God's slowly shaping me through you guys whether you realize it or not. I love spending time with you guys on Saturdays and Sundays!

To the TRU committee members,

I'm utmost happy when I see all of us laughing or getting worried together. I'm a person of togetherness and I love fellowship. You guys too are like siblings to me.I have to say though that some of you are like older siblings to me:P I'm grateful to those who have strengthened me,encouraged me,prayed for me, held me accountable and shared my "burdens".Some have rebuked me gently as well,thank you:) For the past 3 months, yo guys have been a blessing to me. Some of you inspire me,some of you teach me new things about what God wants me to be, some of you encourage me in whatever you do or perhaps in your relationship with God. Some of you put me to shame,honestly! That's a good thing:) I hope and pray we'll continue to spur on with each other as TRU has been growing immensely because of you guys!

Retreat Cmtee,

The P.I.C. doesn't bring a retreat together,but it's the team. Everyone one of you had a role to play and you played it well in order to make the entire thing a success.The amount of effort and time you guys put into this retreat was/is much appreciated. We worked for God's glory and I'm glad some people were blessed, be it a lot or little. I'm sorry if I have offended any of you through out the months we've spent together. I look forward to being in the same team in future events. New additions to the team would be ideal even! The retreat might not have been perfect in our eyes but it was perfect enough for God I would say:) Thank you everyone!

TRU Helpers,

Thank you for the guidance and love you bring to TRU. Some of the youths wouldn't even be here if not for your efforts and dedication! I know how busy the helpers are especially since 98% are still working. Thank you for all the lessons that were prepared long before-hand and know that the youths,including me, are full of gratitude! When any of the helpers don't appear for any youth meetings due to work or sickness or vacation, I can assure you that there will be some youths who will be asking of your absence. This is because of the impact the helpers have made throughout the years, even this year, on the youths!We love you guys,though sometimes we don't show it or whenever we leave our lesson notes around church... :P Thanks also for being our parents,sisters or brothers!!

Ultimately,I give thanks to God for each person in TRU or even in church. Each of us are unique with different gifts and abilities. As a body of Christ,let's help build each other up like how the biceps contract to help pull the forearm upwards or like the liver that helps lighten the burden of the kidneys in detoxification process:P Guess who's the heart of it all?:) Let's take care of one another.

I'm really gonna miss TRU when I'm in RBS man :'(

Chapter 613 - Again

2011-03-10T00:04:00.004+08:00

Changes.

Schedules.

Flight delay.

Rain.

Weight gain.

Haagan Daz for the soul.

Let down.

Selfishness.

We could never.

I want to be invincible.

Chapter 612 - Who gave us the right to complain?

2011-03-08T23:58:00.004+08:00

Hey everybody.

I'm teaching at the local Myanmar School. I received some pictures from one of the teachers from the school. She took pictures of the boys playing football in a field nearby. I have to say.. when I saw the pictures, my heart sank.

All had no proper shoes..Correction,some had NO shoes to wear to play. Not even like school shoes kinda thing. Most went barefooted. Looking at the field,it would be killer to play barefooted. All that sand and rocks..

Some wore socks. Some socks were holey. Most of them wore socks that were different lengths and colors. Here we are, the fortunate people,deciding what socks to wear for different events. Here we are saying we want new shoes when we don't

even need them.

Some had shoes.There was one who was very fortunate to have football boots.For the rest, the closest to what we have were probably torn white school shoes that weren't so white. Another boy wore pink girl shoes, I'm guessing donated or borrowing his sister's.

When they were thirsty, they drank the closest source of tap water they could find.

Even typing this post was hard,I have no idea why.

I tend to look at the greener side of everything. Though they wore different colored socks on each foot or girl shoes or holey socks or even barefooted, they didn't seem to

care about how they looked. As long as their feet were comfortable enough to play on the rugged field, it was good enough for them.

They look forward everyday to that same rugged field, same different colored socks, same holey socks, same girly shoes. They have fun. I don't have the right to complain.

They appreciate life as it is.

I'm asking, in pure honesty, if you have old shoes,torn shoes,or shoes you don't want, give a thought about donating them:)No point keeping them in your cupboard till get they old and moldy:) Contact me whenever.

But if you don't want to,it's okay:)

Chapter 611 - Walls

2011-03-03T19:44:00.004+08:00

Dear God,

I'm not perfect. I often forget you. You're probably still in the living room of my heart waiting for me to come in with my Bible,journal,pen and with a smile on face. I think about spending time with you everyday. I miss being a child. There was nothing in between you and me. I was so innocent,so sincere with you. I would talk to you when I'm at school,when I was lonely,when I was happy. I miss those times where I would walk across the bridge and see the sunrise with you and tell you how you're such a brilliant painter. I would tell you how beautiful your paintings were and if I didn't like them I would jokingly tell you how it looked a bit duller than usual. I miss writing to you. My journal screams "WRITE TO GOD.." every time I look at it but a voice in my head told me it would take too much time to write to you because I had so much to say, and I stopped. I miss the joy and peace I felt when I surrendered it all to you. I don't like surrendering stuff,God. You know how much it hurts. The pain I had to endure was crazy. The 2 months were torture. But at the end of it,it was definitely worth all of it. I got a taste of freedom. Maybe I've been wanting to get to that exact time where I felt peace so much again,that the little time I had with you everyday was..frustrating. One thing I can't understand is why I'm like this. Nothing's been the same since 2010. I can barely hear you anymore. I can't even feel your presence around me. this just means I've been putting something else above you. It's so true that temptations lead to sin and sin just blocks my sight of You. Everyday I feel guilty.This feeling of being far from you is killing me. I pray that the people around me will not fall as badly as I have. It'll take some time before I work with You to tear down these walls from my life.I hope you understand.I miss You. I'll meet you at 11.30pm, Lord..Till then.

Love,

Liesl.

Chapter 610 - "I'm your mother, that's why!"

2011-03-01T21:51:00.011+08:00

Thinking about my form 5 life, I remember how I used to blog about how I couldn't do the things that I wanted to do during the period of my schooling life. I only studied and played sports. Also,piano.

I got into so many arguments with my mom especially on dance and futsal, 2 things I've always wanted to do when I was a teenager. My mom obviously said no to all these things because she kept saying "You can do it next year." If you ask me,false hope la. Now mom,if you're reading this, don't get angry YET. Listen,listen..

I was definitely upset.

Youth [ Teens R Us] and church were always a priority. I always loved the weekends. Anything that would happen during 4pm-7pm on Saturdays besides youth or church was a NO-NO for me. Ask any of my friends, they know.

Temptations were set by Satan, of course. There was girl futsal trainings on Sunday mornings. That was church time. It was so inviting. I would've gone. I even compromised with my mother that I would go once a month to futsal and the rest for church. She kep

t saying no.

I was upset,again.

Every cell in me wanted futsal and dance to be a part of my life,especially since I was more able at a younger age. My parents just wouldn't let me do it. Sometimes mom wouldn't give me a reasonable answer. I probably spoke to God about this when I was younger.This was ALL part of a God's big plan but I obviously didn't know it then.

Paul said in Ephesians 6:1-3 "Children, obey your parents in the Lord for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother '- which is the first commandment with a promise - that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."

Sure I had a choice but it was whether I would make the right one or not.

When I was about 14 or 15,I learnt futsal not from professional trainers,but my friends who were very patient with me. I could play even with the guys and I felt that that was a great blessing.

Little did I know,after SPM, I've been given more opportunities than I probably wouldn't have gotten in my schooling life. I'm learning dance [ finally!!!] and I've got plenty of time to do it. Just that,I should probably get my driver's license before my family get fed up of driving to Sunway every week [Thanks Mom,Chi, Dad and Auntie Angie:) ]

I'm also teaching and this was something I thought of doing as a vocation b

ut I can't due to obligations. God opened the door for me and I've the chance to get a taste of what it's like to teach kids [Myanmar school for kids:)] !

Futsal;anytime,anywhere [well..just USJ6..]

Through my schooling life,I guess I did what God told me to do. And look where I am now:) I've been given more than I asked for. All you gotta do is remain faithful to Him!

Matthew 6:33 says 'But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness

, and all these things will be given to you as well.'

A little advice to you school goers..

..who worry that you won't be able to do the things you want to do once you're out of school.

..who have difficulty prioritizing.

..who don't get the green light to do what they want to do.

All this was made possible because I made the right choice even though it was frustrating.I can tell you from first-hand experience that if you put God first in everything that you do,you will be blessed immensely.

You just don't know it yet:)

P.S: - Don't forget that God is our father,a parent,as well;)

Thanks for being part of God's plan,mom:)

Chapter 609 - You are being loved

2011-02-26T22:46:00.003+08:00

Just the other day, I almost threw a fit about someone quoting beautiful scripture on Facebook and after the sentence desensitizing,cursing it. One of the most LOVE-d scriptures of all time.

I started to feel my head boil. It was heartbreaking to see God's word turned into a joke. I cried. I couldn't handle the sadness and anger all at once,I threw a fist at the table top but only once. I had to take a few minutes, compose myself, convince myself to calm down and handle the situation like how a Christian should.

Hence,I replied the thread of comments. I carefully watched what I typed out. I prayed about it as well. She/He replied and I replied once again. In the end,it was settled in a day or two:)

During worship today, Sam and Megan projected..

1 Corinthians 13:4 - 8a.

⁴ Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

⁸ Love never fails.

This has been one of my all-time favorite verses. However,something hit me as I read the first line. Afterward,I felt guilty as charged.

Why?

Because I have not loved. Get where I'm coming from?

"Love is patient."

"Love is not easily angered."

It was all a test. That definitely brought out the worst in me. I am ashamed of Liesl Tan for I did not love that certain someone who needed love the most.

But now that I know I haven’t put the most LOVE-d scripture into practice as much as I try to defend it or use it, I am learning to love,slowly.

¹³ And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Love ultimately conquers all. It's kinda like the CareBear Stare! Conquers all evil.

God’s a brilliant teacher,noh?:) After all, He is..

..Love♥

Every sunrise I see,your love shines down on me.

Chapter 608 - Dinner with adults

2011-02-24T23:52:00.002+08:00

dinner.

all adults.

only young one.

bored.

phone.

bejewelled.

put on the spot by dad.

scolded.

humiliated.

tears taste salty.

home.

frustrated to the brim.

guitar.

saviour.

Chapter 607 - Back to School

2011-02-23T21:51:00.004+08:00

I volunteered at a school for Myanmar kids. Here's my first day!

Day 1 - General Knowledge

See,the best part of GK is that I get to pick any topic I want because it's well..general! However,because everything is general,it's relatively hard to pick just ONE topic.

"Hi class,my name is Teacher Liesl and today's topic will be...

..COOKING UTENSILS."

I started taking out all the cooking stuff I brought. When the kids started warming up to me,their fingers began to reach for the stuff on the table. I brought the mos

t random of cooking utensils!But I brought basic ones too,like a fork,spoon,pair of chopsticks,bowl,plate. The outrageous ones I brought was a whisk,sieve,teapot,rolling pin,tongs.

The girls had a gfascination with the teapot,plate and cups.

One boy had this craze about the rolling pin that he wanted to take it home but of course I couldn't let him take home my [not so] limited edition IKEA rolling pin.

Another boy loved playing with the..

He started using it to pick up another that was pickup-able. Ahaha,he kinda reminded me of myself when I was around his age. I had this obsession as well.

At the end of class,I taught them how to use chopsticks. I failed to teach some,but the rest were getting the hang of it,esp the younger ones. I gave them a bowl of peanuts and they struggled to pick up the peanuts using the chopsticks I gave them. In the end,there were no more peanuts.

Two boys kept running out of class and was bothering other classes. I seriously need to be more firm man. One of them is named Torres and he's probably about 6. He's so cute!The irony of it all.

Highlight of the day?After teaching the kids all the cooking utensils, I asked them to tell me the names of the objects I pointed to.

For some reason,for most of the objects it was.."Chopstick".LOL.

Definitely can't wait for next week's class!:D

Chapter 606 - Reluctance

2011-02-21T19:51:00.001+08:00

tonight.

dance.

one hour.

countdown.

to feeling noobish.

can't dance.

to save my life.

Chapter 605 - Not so moping mopping experience.

2011-02-18T13:58:00.004+08:00

I was in a pretty good mood today. It's nice to wake up after a enough hours of sleep. Mom asked me to mop the floor upstairs. "Ok Mom.." So..

Music [not knowing what CD was inside]; check.

Mop;check.

Bucket..Where's the bucket?!Oh,found it;check.

I wrung the mop like Mom said and started mopping. I got annoyed that the particles on the floor weren't getting tangled in the mop,like it should. Got annoyed and came with a conclusion that the mop was too dry,so I dunked it into the water and sprinkled [..violently..] soap water on the floor. It felt nice knowing that the floor was at least more damp now!

After a while,I was still annoyed by the seen particles on the floor [..esp hair..gragh..]. I grabbed the portable vacuum and sucked up all the random hair on the floor. I could finally mop in peace.

Out of all the rooms [..besides parents' room because mom wouldn't let me mop it..],I vote my brother's to be the cleanest and neatest but hardest to clean. Why?Because he has too many instruments lying around on the floor!Not to mention amps as well. Lugging instruments around is so not fun. But I didn't mind that much since he actually plays the instruments and brings life to the house:)

I also discovered that after I finished mopping,the amount of sweat on my face was just as much as after 20 mins of practicing Cwalking.

I was a walking rain cloud.

..and I just realized I totally forgot to charge the vacuum again..

BYE!

Chapter 604 - Countdown

2011-02-17T18:58:00.002+08:00

after yesterday,i eat my words.

i take back everything i commented on and laughed at.

very nervous.

tonight.

dance.

still nervous.

i'm gonna implode.

Chapter 603 - The heart of CNY

2011-02-06T22:45:00.004+08:00

Home is where the heart is:)

Chinese New Year is here once again. I made my yearly visit to Langkawi to celebrate with Dad's side of the family. You see,my relatives prefer to speak Hokkien [Yes,I'm Hokkien] and/or Mandarin. I speak a little bit of cantonese.

Honestly,I could've easily mistaken Cantonese for Hokkien. For example, when ordering ice for drinks. I say "ice" in Cantonese,not Hokkien and hawkers will look at you and go.."Haaa?"

I expected this year to be like any other year. The Tan siblings from Subang Jaya will be mute the entire trip. Usually,I would read a book and my relatives will say how clever I am to read a book during my free time. It's normally just to kill time because I didn't want to engage in conversation or attract any attention. Thank God for Apple for creating the iPod touch!

Marvellous invention designed to kill time.

This year was different. I actually took steps to talk to my cousins who were living in Australia. I engage in conversation with one whom I observed to be shy.He prefers not to look you in the eye but that didn't bother me. God made everyone beautiful,noh?:) Plus,he's my cousin man!:D He was funny:) In a case of an awkward situation, he asked a question that tickled me.

"So........you got boyfriend yet?"

I laughed and so did he. Of course I said..no. *Shift eyes* I'm kidding,I really don't have one and don't plan on one anytime soon. He loves I.T. which he's taking in college in Australia. He says it's a quiet town there,really lonely. Lonely was the word he used,I felt sad.

I spoke to another cousin whom probably speaks really good english. She even has an accent!I found out what she was doing and couldn't help but stared at her yellow top which was absolutely so cute and fashionable. Not to mention the Gladiators she was wearings 8D

Another cousin lives in Seri Kembangan with his bro. He's into real estate and it was cool when we started talking about sports. I loved the fact that he continued the conversation even though there were awkward silences and pauses. He was telling us about how one of his clients became a millionaire by just selling..

CHICKEN RICE.

Shocking,I know. I also wanna learn up how to make good chicken rice!

I went home with a smile in my heart.

The next day,I met up with the KL relatives from Mom's side. My cousin,Lionel, who works with Youth With A Mission (YWAM) alongside his wife, and was stationed with his family in the Middle East. He shared with me what it really meant to serve and to work WITH God instead of FOR Him. I was really touched by what he said to me and I clearly knew that it was a trilogue!

Trilogue meaning God was there too in our dialogue:)

What really made my day at the last moment was my other cousin,Marcus, came with his wife. You see, on a regular basis,I wouldn't really think about which cousins would come or not. This tim round however, I actually took time to wonder whether Marcus Ko would come with Kay Chi to dinner this year. When I saw someone wishing everyone,I was so surprised it was Marcus Ko and Kay Chi! It was great to see them because we haven't seen them in a while. Also,the moment I saw them,I spoke to God and said "Wow God,you are full of surprises,you know that?"

Right now, my uncle,Billy Ah Koo, is sharing his testimony with my bro. He had to go through a series of heart operations. His heart stopped as well on the operating table. But God brought him back for a greater purpose. My uncle had a vision where in the end, he felt the heat of Hell and a voice spoke to Him saying.." Go and tell your friends not to come here."

God is really at work this Chinese New Year and there is no greater blessing than seeing God at work in the hearts of my relatives and even me!

Thank you God for blessing me with amazing families and Gong Xi Fatt Chai!

Chapter 602 - Too busy

2011-01-19T20:39:00.009+08:00

Though I never really openly show it, a part of me is sad.

I lost someone very important to me.

The thing is,

I'm too busy to feel frustrated.

I'm too busy to even think about it because I have to think about what's now.

I'm too busy to think about the past.

You see,that's where it all started as well..

..He was too busy.

I tell my friends.."Hey,people come and go. You make new ones along the way!" What I didn't understand earlier was that you can never replace the ones you've made.

We were like best friends. You said there way no way you could find another. You lied. I kept denying it,but you kept reassuring me. Even after I became totally honest with you, you brushed it off like dust on your shoulder because you had a new beginning,a new life to start with and I was left in oblivion.

I was there for you,every step. You decided to choose the people who couldn't care less about you. Once again, I'm the friend people need, but never the friend they want.

That's kinda like how Jesus feels around me too. The 'needed' friend. I got a taste of my own medicine,and it hurts.

You were an awesome friend.

Ink Writing finale:

Frankie got frustrated at the thought of school..

..because she didn't want to think about it.

Chapter 601 - Back to basics,again!

2011-01-17T13:11:00.002+08:00

Yam Seng to a good kick start to 2011!

Jane came from Down Under for the whole month and it's a good start of the year! I've never watched so many horror movies that could potentially give me nightmares in 17 days. Neither have I felt so busy after Christmas:O It's great having the other fatty here:)

Also, I started playing sports again! *Hallelujah* The adrenaline rushing through your body when you're prepared to catch a long frisbee never felt so good. After a good 1.5 year break from badminton, I got back onto the courts ready to train up my smashes again. However since my injury,for some reason, every time I play,I pull something or get a blister. I'm one of the very few people who actually does warm-ups! Life isn't fair,but God is :)

I shall bring ya'll back to my lifetime of injuries:-

Sprained both my toes.
Sprained both my thumbs.
Fell on my back 4 times [or more;I lost count..]
Tore my meniscus in my knee.
Pulled a shoulder muscle [Badminton]
Sprained my wrist [Futsal; Goalie]
Injured my butt [Either the muscle pull or hit the bone really hard; Ice skating]

I'm only 18. Goodness me. How la when I'm 40?!

I'm just trying to lay off the ankle and wrists. Very very vital.

Remember people, always do warm-ups or else you'll end up just like me-_-

Chapter 600 - It's a grumpy 600th

2011-01-03T23:51:00.003+08:00

I don't understand.

So what if, just what if, I don't wanna do something that could possibly not do well in our Malaysian culture? What if I don't become a doctor or a scientist or a lawyer or an accountant or a banker or a marine biologist or a veterinarian..?

I don't want to be trapped in this bubble where people expect me to be in. I wanna be myself and would love to live life just like that. Why waste a lifetime doing something I don't feel like doing?

As usual,we have to give parents a sense of security. Get a degree or diploma or smth so that we have something to fall on to. True that. I envy people I see all over the world who love doing what they are doing. [Cue Kyle Hanagami]

You don't take a chance,how would you know if you could be successful?

Success is another issue. My definition of success is doing someth

ing that benefits others instead of just myself. Success is doing something I love to the fullest.

To me, money isn't success.

People of the olden days were allowed to do anything they wanted to do because there was no pressure,no bubbles to confine them. Yet,there were some who couldn't do what they wanted to do because of lack of resources.

What about people like me who want to do what they really like to do even if it works out or not?

Let's say I WANT to be a dancer or a broadway singer..

..I just can't.Because it wouldn't seem right.

That's sad.

What if it's not just a hobby anymore?

Ink Writing finale:

The Double Standard System seriously bites.

Chapter 599 - Farida

2010-12-28T00:00:00.004+08:00

At her prime.

Given a little "me" time,

The singing mood was at its prime.

Though we quote 'Words cannot bring me down',

How they oft don't apply to me,

I walked into my fortress with a slight frown,

And started on what made me free.

"If love could move a mountain",

The tune moved me so,

My voice softened,

As I listened to the strumming flow.

The sound of laughter echoes in my ear,

I recognized each one of them as I hear,

Pride would not let me leave my very state of mind,

No,I couldn't just leave what my heart longed for behind.

After lost time,

I caressed the dear sweet Farida that was now mine,

I would not let rust take her alive,

For her lasting life I will strive.

Chapter 597 - Appreciating the Unappreciated

2010-12-23T16:54:00.002+08:00

It was absolutely difficult to get out of bed at 8am especially since it was raining. Ohhh,the cool air...

Basically, a bunch of us random kids went around USJ2,USJ6,SS14 and SS18 to pass out free water bottles to the unappreciated! I heard a fellow politician once who said some people refuse to give Alam Flora workers water when they knocked on people's gates.

That's sad.

I suggested this wild idea,not knowing if it would work out or not. I had the epiphany when I couldn't sleep on the first night before SPM. I got excited,and hence, I still couldn't sleep! I suggested it to a friend,and lo and behold came this day. A bunch of us went around giving free bottles of water to Alam Flora workers/ security guards/ random people.

8 of us [Farhan,Ammar,Ken,Hsien Zern,Fahim, Liesl,Kelvin (for a short while) and Samuel] joined forces into fighting crimes and forces of evi---

Oops. Not the Powerpuff Girls.

We met outside school and made our way to Farhan's house where we divided everyone into groups and divided the bottles to put into our backpacks.

Group Ammar/Fahim - Alam Flora workers

Group Liesl/Ken - Random people other than Alam Flora workers and security guards.

Group Sam/Farhan/ Zern - Security guards

We headed off and came back with almost no more bottles. We gathered resources again and moved on to USJ 6. Almost all people took the water bottles with gratitude and thankful hearts.Some were confused yet took it. Some just refused probably thinking it was poisoned or something.

After a good lunch at Subway,4 troopers left due to inconvenience since SS14/SS18 were far from where they stayed. I understood:)Only 3 left to cover the entire SS14/SS18. By God's strength we covered most of it but we ran out of water bottles!!:(I shall give two more tomorrow to the security guards near my home:)

The aim,or at least my aim was to show kindness to public workers. I'm pretty sure they feel unappreciated and the latter of the community. I can assure you many people don't realize how clean and free from dead leaves our streets are if it weren't for the public workers. People just don't bother.

Thank God no one got banged down by a car or got kidnapped and for the awesome sunless weather!God showed me that those who are humble will be made great:)

I hope they feel great today!:D

Thank you Ammar, Fahim, Farhan,Ken,Sam,Kelvin and Zern for volunteering for this very tough project. Many people wouldn't do what you guys did! And if it weren't for you,this project wouldn't been a dud:)

All you need is a heart♥. We all have one.

So what's stopping you from doing something good today?

Chapter 598 - Not what I imagined

2010-12-22T02:28:00.005+08:00

You know,I thought I had my life all planned out for next year.So confident in all that I've been dreaming of for years.

Taylors. A-Levels. Frisbee team. Drama club.Marine biology.

Unfortunately, I never thought of the pressures. Now that I've considered different options like Sunway or Methodist College KL or Psychiatry, suddenly people get upset. I hate the fact I have to study my life away and while doing it,I can't have fun. I'm only allowed to do what will bring me enough income in life next time and something that could sustain me.

If I wanted to be a dancer or a singer,I couldn't.

It's sad how many teens are pressured to do this. I know a certain friend who doesn't want to medicine,but instead Mass Comm, but family insists on medicine because he/she is the last "hope" of the family @ the youngest. I can relate.

I love the sciences. While pursuing it,it would be great to actually have fun while doing it and not grow fat by not exercising enough because 99.99% of the time,I'm hibernating in my room studying. I'm young,still young.

I wanna live it out.

Another thing that bothered me for the gazillionth time is.. I'm not appreciated for the things I do for my friends. Sure,they thank you at that very moment for being there and all that jazz. When it all comes down to it, eventually they drift apart from you because you're no longer what they want or they practically don't need a sponge no more. Some prefer eye candy to sponges.Maybe you're a pain in the neck for being too nice or caring.

Maybe it's just human nature. Perhaps I've done it before. I'm not too sure. Maybe that's why I don't tell people a lot about my problems,expecting them to do something about it because I wouldn't wanna disappoint them. I've let down one friend in a particular.

I guess that's the worst part about being nice and having guy friends. Most just don't remember you and they always look for better things in life. Sponges that look nicer.

Sometimes,it bites being nice.

I don't need a gift from you to show that you're my friend. I need you to be one.

Ink Writing finale:

Frankie bids you all the best in life, Putera.

Chapter 597 - Oh dearie me!

2010-12-20T19:34:00.002+08:00

I lie down on my belly here,typing in my pyjamas before the readers of my blog. [Though I'm not entirely sure who still does..]

I'm sick in time for Christmas..again!

Maybe it'll go away tomorrow. But that was part of the deal. Fever after conference:)

In a way this could be a blessing. Lying at home doing nothing and just lazing around. Except for the sick factor,it's what I've wanted since the beginning of SPM.

Lately,I've been reading about what people,namely friends of mine,who post about their life in the cyber life. I lie here helplessly wanting to do something, but I'm not sure how.. I rededicated my life to God to do something serious.I don't play around with whatever I tell God. I'm probably a hypocrite sometimes in life,but never one when its do to with God.

People feel empty.

That makes me feel sad. Sad, as in because it's an emotion I usually feel in these cases. Sad in another way for them because they don't have the same fulfilled life that I do. I never once experienced emptiness I would say. I was always filled,not always with good life,but sometimes bad life. I hope there is still time for change.

My other thoughts are based on what's becoming so realistic now. All my life I've heard students 'seisha'-ing and what not. But when I hear of my own classmates doing it,or people I know, it's...sad. They're the kind of people who are smart enough to know what things like these could do to beautiful bodies. Yet, they choose the path because it satisfies them. It's like smoking.

A smoker once told me after I asked her/him why he/she smoked:

"You just get addicted to it even though you know how much damage it could do to your body."

Perhaps it is hard for me to understand from their view but if I knew something bad I've been taking would eventually strip me of my life,a safe life, I woul

d stop.

Why can't people understand?

Once you're in,it'll take fits,seizures,heart attacks,breathing problems to make you realize and take you out of it.

The world is becoming so real to me. Maybe because I'm stepping into the real one now.

Cut it out of your life before it cuts yours.

Chapter 596 - Moving on

2010-12-16T22:06:00.004+08:00

Wow.

SPM is over and done with.

I always have thought of the euphoria I would feel after my last paper,but honestly,I didn't exactly feel it. It's more [as Rudi would say] like 'life goes on,y'know?' I've got a million things to finish up before the year end and a million things to do during the next year. 7 months of break,I can't wait to slog around and be lazy till I get bored

of being stuck at home. I'll definitely find things to do,nonetheless!

I've gotten my new Bible just today and am really satisfied! My journey with apologetics thus begins!Apologies to those who don't really understand what I'm talking about here:)

Next week,I've got loads planned out and I have planned a little something for Christmas. I hope it'll turn out well and won't rain!We're gonna need lots of man [and woman] power!

As promised to Leon, I will make my first C-Walk video [Leon,

you evil.] and I will painstakingly post it up because I desperately need feedback from all the other C-Walkers who are probably ten times better than me.

However,despite all the hustle and bustle,I really need to recollect myself and my relationship with God. It's been like a roller coaster and I've got to fix it.

I would love to write testimonies on my journey with my friends all over my blog here,but just not right now. Busy,busy,busy!

Do my holidays really have to start with this..

[Not to worry,I'll get it done!]

Ink Writing finale:

Frankie kept saying,"Why the differences?"

Chapter 595 - Only once a year

2010-09-06T17:44:00.002+08:00

Mom asked..

"So,what do you want?"

Every kid would dream of screaming out almost the entire store of Toys R Us when a parent should ask that question. Every teenager would scream out something "Roxy" or "Nokia" or "Taylor".

I've read some people's blogs. They all have this little,well..not so little really..wishlist at the side. From Vans to the latest Katy Perry album or perhaps a DSLR. I used to hint very strongly on what I wanted to my parents or think of something expensive since I only am asked this question once every year.

This time my answer to her was..

... "I don't know."

I thought long and hard. There's only one thing that I could ever want in this life. It's actually a free gift,a gift from God. I have received mine already. I am utmost happy about that. But the best present I could ever get is when my loved ones want to claim that same gift.

There's nothing else I want more than that.

Unless they have,there's nothing the world could offer me that would truly give me joy. God gives me joy,don't get me wrong.

Finally,I understand why the angels and heavens rejoice over one person who receives that gift.

Chapter 594 - Cliques Part 2

2010-09-05T21:46:00.004+08:00

Now I know why conservative Brethren don't allow their members to watch TV.

...

That's not what I wanted to blog about. I think if I blog about this,it might offend some and you might hate me, whoever you are that's reading my blog.

Social status and hierarchy.

It's completely normal to have one in school. However, for it to be existing in a class, it's a bit too much.

There has been this dilemma going around my class where people refuse to go for class party because they don't think it's a CLASS party. It's because of the cliques and the dominion in our class. Honestly,I think it's not a good enough excuse not to go. If you want to go but are putting the blame on them, I just cannot understand it.

Please just go and eat,it's not a big deal.

Everyone says it's different for me that I don't face this "problem" in class. Why? Because some of the people who dominate the class are my friends. Yes,some of them are my friends, but some of them are acquaintances already because I haven't talked to a few in a very long time. Even if they may be my enemies or my friends,I still try to at least talk to them when people talk to me. Courtesy,mom has always taught me well.

If they don't talk to you, that doesn't make anyone less important or put you lower in the rankings. They don't talk to other students in the same class,their problem la. You think you can't talk to them or don't talk to them because you don't try. Don't be intimidated by them because they are people like you and me with weaknesses and strengths.

We're all special one way or another. You may say you're not, but you are.

I think the dominating group really need to open their eyes to what's happening. Because they are so self-absorbed into their own group,they don't realize that our class is divided. They should socialize more.

But who's to blame them at the same time? I just realized today that I've been putting "popular" labels on people,but the things is,what makes them so popular? Smarts, musical talents,charisma. I don't understand how does that make them any better. I smack myself as well for thinking such things. We're not less valuable just because they got certain things we don't have.

Why I'm putting up a post that could possibly risk my friendships with many people is that.. I can't stand the broken rships in class. Look at 5 Budi, they're so close knit except for many 2 puny cliques. I urge everyone who's from my class to make an effort to mix and mingle with other people from different cliques. Even the Bible urges everyone to stand united.

4 Budi used to be tight,because we tried to make it happen.

I may be hypocritical,but I'm willing to try and make a change. I hope you do too.

Now,I understand why there are so much politics in the country. Even classrooms have them.

Disclaimer: Whenever a "you" is seen,it is meant as a collective noun/pronoun??? It is not specifically directed to a single person.

Chapter 593 - Hachiko♥

2010-09-03T23:27:00.004+08:00

This is Hachiko.

In the hearts of many, he's the perfect example of loyalty and faithfulness. After his master had passed away, Hachiko waited at the Shibuya train station in Japan faithfully every single day for his master.

He did this for 10 years before passing away at the train station.

Waiting.

This is Hachiko. He brought tears to my eyes and my heart.

Chapter 592 - God of this city

2010-08-28T23:25:00.002+08:00

Luke 11:23 ²³"He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me, scatters.

Somebody preached at church the other day about Nation Building. I was skeptical to think that that guy didn't know how much work the church was already doing. But what I came to realize after having discussions with my siblings, I haven't been doing my part as a church.

What struck me the most were the marginalized. I often hear about Teh Tarik ministry which was booming! But someone once told me I couldn't go because I was too young and most of them who gathered at the Petaling Street were men. Guess it's not safe.

I hear the excitement of teaching Myanmar kids and doing Sunday School with OA kids. How I wish I could drop everything and rush to it. But I cannot.

SPM.

Exams have been my barrier to excel in anything besides sports. I couldn't dance because of UPSR,then PMR, then SPM. Soon,the reason would be A Levels.

I have been studying Luke lately and a lot of the parables on people being hurt, or the poor,the crippled,the lame,the blind, and the ones suffering from dreaded skin diseases have caught my eye.

I guess studying the book made me realize the need for workes in the harvest. How I was a fervent worker but became lazy after a while. I admit that I have depended too much on mountain top experiences with God during rallies and have craved for new experiences. It's about time I step back from the chaarsmatic scene. Hence,I apologise for my absence in CF lately.

Break's over. Time to get back to what I am here for.

Luke 10: 1-2
¹After this the Lord appointed seventy-two others and sent them two by two ahead of him to every town and place where he was about to go. ²He told them, "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field.

Chapter 591 - Akoostik moosik

2010-08-25T20:43:00.003+08:00

Mom just told me random people read my blog. I bet you're one of them right now :O
Thanks for reading,btw.

Hello,Starchild.

Fingers hurt of playing too much of Starchild the Acoustic. That means it's been ages since I last played a guitar like..hardcore.

Thanks Farhan for loaning me your precious!

I think I sing better when I get fresh air. I should try experimenting. When I'm outside my house,I sing more confidently and with ease too. In my room,I sound stuffed. I'm glad people say they like my voice,it's encouraging:)

I'm not being like berlagak or whatever la.

I'm yet to discover my true voice. Voice over for Chewbacca,Stitch and Chipmunks don't help you get a grip of your singing. I dunno if I'm pop,jazz,rock,R&B,Ballad,Gospel..or maybe even country!? It's an odd thing to say,but some people might understand.Somewhere out there la.

Thus,this problem will often lead me to bad song choices to sing. It's really so bad.I don't know what sounds nice or horrible. Everything sounds the same to me.

Now,I'm gonna change topic because something came up in my mind.

I love the sound of stringed instruments. Guitars,you play one jazz chords,I'll swoon. I imagine almost all songs with violins! Bass,tak payah cakap la. bAss sounds are so wonderful.I overheard some Indian uncle talking in a mamak today..

..he spoke like a true bass.

Amazed,was I.

Chapter 590 - Owemaigash,I'm so in luv.

2010-08-23T19:04:00.007+08:00

All for love.

It's not what you think.

I just watched my old Cwalk videos.Please don't go looking for them.It was so bad, I ended up laughing at myself. How silly I was doing all that!

Then again,how silly was I to stop.

Looking back,I really loved it the core no matter how much I sucked at it really. Bought shoes,all for the purpose of Cwalking. I guess I'm a groupie of CWalk. I love to dance,but could never master it. Or just didn't have the time. It would be great to be able to go back in time and continue what I've learnt.

Big Thank You to Nicholas Ng for rekindling the old flame of Clown Walking!

Ps:- For those completely oblivious,Cwalking is a form of dance:)

Chapter 589 - Green,White and Nike.

2010-08-21T12:06:00.000+08:00

In case you didn't get my post title.

Everything I look at,everything I see..Everything I smell.

Oh,the temptation to play with Green,White and Nike is so strong. However,my "misery" only likes to do swimming or quadriceps exercise. Nothing else.

How I cringe at thee,oh knee.

This reminds me of the time where I use to post useless emotional stuff on my blog during the period where I was in crutches. I was miserable. I wasn't happy. I couldn't sing. I feared God because I knew what he could have done during my state of weakness.

I apologize for being emo. It was merely a phase. I hope I won't injure myself again,or else..I'll go through phase II.

Nathaniel would probably know how I felt during that period of time. But he could still walk. I couldn't on my own will without feeling electricity running up your leg and your knee buckling every few hours.

Right now,I don't like all the able people who were playing futsal at 8. Sucks.

[Please tag Gan Jay Han, Scott Lee and Isaac Jay Pandian here]

Chapter 588 - Feeling African-American

2010-08-20T20:15:00.000+08:00

Music.

Music heals.

Music brings people together.

Music lifts emotions.

Music fills the still air.

Music makes particles vibrate!

Music echoes.

Music helps when studying.

Music dances with dancers.

Music speaks.

Music makes compact discs expensive.

Music makes people famous.

Music makes the world go around.

Music made the people of Renaissance times express themselves.

Music makes God happy.

Music gave us funny looking crochets and minims.

Music, amazing.

Music makes the Bellagio fountains explode!

Ps:- Thank you Twins for inspiring me and making me stronger in my confidence:)

Chapter 587 - Shambles

2010-08-19T18:42:00.000+08:00

I'm pretty content compared to what I've put on my title. It's a little inside title for me,that's how I feel.This is my blog. Conclusion?

I can put anything I want!:P

But of course,must respect 'Kebebasan Bersuara'. Because if I don't,I might cause perbalahan antara kaum and destroy perpaduan antara kaum.

[I think I've had too much of BM and Moral @_@]

I've been absent from my blog's presence on purpose,but I won't state,sorry to say. It's tough you know? I've been refraining myself from blogging partially because all hell might break loose if I do. Don't worry,I'm not gonna burst now:)

[See,I put a smiley,means I'm not gonna kill anyone despite the horrible Add Maths paper which I didn't finish..]

I've learned how not to take things to heart and just move on.I wonder if that's better than taking it onto myself or just to move on and let things be for once..If it's better in God's eyes,that is.

So what's up with Liesl Tan?

Music's all I've been doing the whole month. My music addiction was so bad,I couldn't study! I had to force myself not to go near music so that I could focus. Main reason why I couldn't start studying earlier really.

At home,I'm in a constant Energizer Bunny mode.You can see me doing jumps and skips and songs that you see in fast motion. I was literally bouncing up and down for the past days. It's strange how I don't end up tired enough to sleep ._. I've been restrained from dancing by my knee. How I long to enter "Dancers' Dreams" studio T.T

But there are bigger things to worry about right now.[Insert suspense]

Life's a blur now.

Ink Writing finale:
Is it so hard to love?:/

Chapter 586.5 - A really serious crazy little big thing called Love

2010-07-24T17:46:00.001+08:00

I'm no expert of course. Only God's the expert in whatever seems to be in the air everywhere. LOVE.

Now,now,I'm not being a skeptic.

I was reading two blogs and oth of them were all just about LOVELOVELOVELOVELOVE. Both blogs belong to guys. Shocked?

Many people my age are convinced they are in love.Are they really? Friends come up to tell me "I think I'm in love!" I'll go..Are you sure?

Love is so unexplainable la. I don't think love can ever be described. Many adults have said before,you just know when you're in love!Some don't even know till after they get married.

God is love. Without God,can there be love?

[Now now,I'm just revolving around the topic:)]

I'm yet to meet an adult who was in love when he/she was in highschool. Then,I'll be convinced. to be honest,I'm not even sure myself when love happens or if my friends are in love or whatever. All I hear about highschool sweethearts is that,they were just friends and then whatever they had bloomed.

Some who were enemies are now married! So beware ;)

Right now,what I think most people think of love is merely based on feelings and plenty of hormones.

Love is patient,love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13. I love the Bible :B

Chapter 586 - Happy things:)

2010-07-24T17:13:00.000+08:00

Happy things,yes,happy things:D

I'm sitting at a very happy table at prom!:)

NS said minta maaf to me:)

Rudi can't call me Jaws!:)

Just got home from hanging out with my form 5 churchies. I can't believe they got me into the dancing machine arcade thing-a-magicy.

I still got 2 weeks before exams:D

Sam,thnks for keeping me accountable:) It helped!

Downside of the happy things..:(

I need to get it right with God.

Chapter 585 - This is it.

2010-06-25T21:15:00.000+08:00

I walked out of my room this morning,thinking..

"One more day to SOS rally.."

It is a shell-shocker for me. A sudden realization that something amazing is going to happen tomorrow.I can't sit still just thinking about what God's really gonna do in Temerloh,Mentakab and Kuantan.

This whole week I've been trying to really build up energy and excitement towards the awesome event tomorrow.I've done things this week that probably drew me away. Sam said once "Any day that you are not growing closer to God, you're already back-sliding."

You gotta admit,that's scary!I've been trying to fix my relationship with God for so long since the beginning of the year.Obviously,I don't want to backslide.

As for tomorrow..Facebook can lessen your excitement when you see the amount of people on the 'awaiting reply list' or the 'not attending' list. Shanice said something while we were praying the other day and she said..

"Lord,we may not know the numbers,but we pray we won't get disheartened. We know that you have chosen people to go for the rally."

chosen.

That's what really struck me. It never really hit me that people were chosen to go for events such as the S.O.S. rally. I'm not exactly sure what to expect tomorrow,I know it's something really BIG,but I'm wondering right now..

"Where's my heart?"

It's Friday.I'm aware of that,and I am just evaluating myself. I've been more excited for evangelistic events before. So,just how excited is my heart?I'm feeling a wee bit nervous. Is that a good thing? I'm not too sure.

I plan to spend the night with God. Talking to him. I'm hoping he'll talk to me despite the awful week I've had.

To everyone who can't attend or won't be there to witness this great historical happening,JOIN US IN PRAYER, for we need it. The students of Temerloh,Mentakab and Kuantan need it. The worship team needs it.

We two or more gather to pray,the hand of God moves.

I'm going to rally with great expectations. For myself,for the youth,for those who are lost.

Luke 19:10 For the Son of man came to seek and to save what was lost.

Great expectations- Steven Curtis Chapman.

The morning finds me here at heaven's door
A place I've been so many times before
Familiar thoughts and phrases start to flow
And carry me to places that I know so well
But dare I go where I don't understand
And do I dare remember where I am
I stand before the great eternal throne
The one that God Himself is seated on
And I, I've been invited as a son
Oh I, I've been invited to come and ...

Believe the unbelievable
Receive the inconceivable
And see beyond my wildest imagination
Lord, I come with great expectations

So wake the hope that slumbers in my soul
Stir the fire inside and make it glow
I'm trusting in a love that has no end
The Savior of this world has called me friend
And I, I've been invited with the Son
Oh I, I've been invited to come and ...

We've been invited with the Son
And we've been invited to come and ...

Believe the unbelievable
Receive the inconceivable
And see beyond our wildest imagination
Lord, we come with great expectations

Great expectations.

Chapter 584 - Kaka is from Argentina. Ahyuk.

2010-06-19T23:05:00.001+08:00

This is what you get during a World Cup hype before the start of the epic event.

Liesl: Dad, who you going for in World Cup?

Dad: Spain laaa...

Liesl: Mom?

Mom: Argentina!

Liesl + Dad:* Stare blankly at each other* Huh????

Mom: Because got Kaka!!

Don't worry,my mom knows she's actually supporting Brazil now.

Keehee.

Chapter 583 - Officially hating ferries

2010-06-17T23:14:00.000+08:00

It's good to be back. The whole day I've been craving at the sight of home. I'm absolutely exhausted from Thailand.

I had to travel..
1 hr by speedboat to a small jetty,
1.5 hr by truck/van to a bigger port,
1 hr by ferry to Langkawi,
30 mins to Granma' hse,
45 mins to Langkawi airport,
1 hr+ plane trip to KLIA,1 hr trip back home.

Wow that sounded like 12 days of Christmas.

As a kid,I never understood why my family always crashed out at home once they got home from a holiday. Now,I SOOOO understand why.

Carrying bags on and off SWAYING boats.
Being bitten by giant mosquitoes the moment you leave the hotel room.
Dying in the extreme heat of Thailand. It's way hotter than Msia.
Sitting in swaying boats and ferries after rain.
Getting wet in rain on a motorbike and then feeling the wind.

Then again,out of everything,I did get to spend good time with my parents. Just my parents.

We watched World Cup with Thai commentators and no scoreboards on the Tv screen.
Went snorkeling while mom went scuba diving.
Eat endlessly.
Felt sick of thinking what to eat every meal.
Got bitten by giant mosquitoes.
Fed the stray cats at the resort while no one was looking.
Did laps in the pool.
Laughed at anything funny.
Got heat strokes simultaneously.

Plus,we were the ONLY guests at Sita Beach Resort.Undivided attention,like syeahhhh B)

The metrosexual receptionists were cool and really really nice:) Overall staff were friendly enough to wish you Savadeekap everytime you glanced at them while they're quietly watching Thai soap operas.

Also,mom got an underwater casing for the camera.

Hoho,guess who had a jolly good time with it:P

Ink Writing finale:
Frankie glances upon the many pages on FB.
"Sigh,those were the days,weren't they..?"

Chapter 582 - A slice of life

2010-06-09T19:08:00.000+08:00

This is one awesome guideline on how to life live to the fullest,in the smallest and simplest ways you can:)I think it's brilliant. Thanks Chi!

Lifebook 2010
Health:

1. Drink plenty of water
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy
5. Make time for prayer
6. Play more games
7. Read more books than you did in 2008
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day
9. Sleep for 7 hours
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day ---- and while you walk, smile

Personality:

11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't over do ; keep your limits
14. Don't take yourself so seriously ; no one else does
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
16. Dream more while you are awake
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:

25. Call your family often
26. Each day give something good to others
27. Forgive everyone for everything
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day
30. What other people think of you is none of your business
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

32. Do the right things
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
34. GOD heals everything
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
37. The best is yet to come
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
39. Your Inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not the least :

40. Do forward this to everyone you care about .

Funny thought of the day:
It's really funny when you're waiting to see the doctor,and a cockroach runs under the sofa you're sitting on.

Be alive people. Even on Grand Canyon:)

Chapter 581 - Holiday Villa shampoo atrracts flies

2010-06-08T20:04:00.000+08:00

The statement above is merely a hypothesis but it yet to be proven xD

I just got home from a very sleep lacking,emotional,sandy,beautiful,breezy,friendly,hilarious church camp:)

I brought my hot red camera but I never took it out once to take pictes at camp. Only after xD

What I was most ecstatic about what the feeling I woke up each morning. My knees didn't hurt after each day of excessive walking and gradient climbing:D Which is good news for the 5 Kukuh-ians!I think I can climb stairs but still need my arms to pull me up 4 floors. Knees can't take the pressure just yet,but am trying to strengthen it to the max now:)

'm back in Subang for like 3 days,then I'm off to Langkawi for Dad's company trip and then later on straight away my parents and I are importing ourselves to Thailand by ferry. Ko Li Pe is the island's name. Well,it's an island week for me and I'm looking forward to it!

Ko Li Pe isn't in season now meaning the weather is gonna be weird and wonderful. Hopefully it'll be good:)

They better have turtles-_-

Or at least clownfishes:B

Langkawi,despite my venture of 17 yrs to that island,I have never snorkelled there. None which I rmb la at least:)

It's kinda funny how I used to think the fish were out to get me whenever I entered the sea with bread.Haha.Now I'm literaly waiting to just dive in and torment,i mean enjoy the weird and wonderful fishes in the deep blue sea:P

I look ridiculous,I know. But I bet I can snorkel better than you :P [Except maybe Jane la..haha]

Filler,not counted as chapter.

2010-06-05T07:51:00.000+08:00

Adios people! Won't be blogging for 4 days! But not like that's an issue. Well,this is ONE reason to blog about right? right?:P

Cherating here I come!!:D

PS:- My knees are feeling better than ever. That's a good sign:) God's healing it!!!:D

Chapter 580 - Happy note:D

2010-06-04T10:59:00.000+08:00

Today,I'm happy. After a ridiculously emotional day yesterday,I am happy today:D

"Today is the day, I will rejoice and be glad in it.."

Let me tell you weird and wonderful stories about my study room which you can see through my webcam:)
Fact #1
Finding a paper clip in this room is like finding gold. It's extremely hard to find. And you LITERALLY have to mendulang everything to find paper clips.LOL. I found 3 after clearing the whole stationary section [which is a lot mind you..]. Victorious,I am.
Fact #2
The amount of unused,dried up,old pens and plastic stationary in this study room is quiet a lot. I bet if you go to an office building,you probably can recycle more than 1 kg of pens.
Fact #3
The amount of PAPER i have can save a few trees. Unfortunately,they are still quite important an valuable to me XD *cough.Pn.Poh's.notes.cough*
Fact#4
I like this fact. There a whole small cupboard of PAPER BAGS!!! From all kinds of different brands and all over the world!!:D Not just paper bags,plenty of cloth bags too!!:D I have an American Idol one too:P
Fact #5
The new scanner is so supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!!If it weren't for that very hardworking and convincing sales guy who convinced dad to buy the scanner,my 5K Tshirt drawing would have sucked so bad.
Fact#6
The laptop always got virus wan-_-
Fact#7
I think I need a new thumbdrive.My thumbdrive has a Trojan in it-_-
Fact#8
I suddenly remembered why I always wanted those canggih sharpeners. Normal sharpeners give you painful blister-_-

Well,that's all the facts I can come up with right now!:D

I is the the woman.

Chapter 579 - Once every 2 weeks on average..

2010-06-03T17:28:00.000+08:00

..I feel this uncontrolable need to cry my heart out because I'm "cacat".

You shouldn't read this post if you don't wanna hear whining. I'm asking you in a polite way to go to Facebook or something and turn away from this page.It's just me ranting about my knee. Npthing new.

Friends go out to play futsal,play captainball,play badminton.

Very depressing not being able to stand amongst them to kick the ball around or throw the ball around or hit the shuttlecock. Sucks,really,it does.

I was supposed to blog about' My Dreams,My Success'.But now isn't the right time. Dreams seem to be on hold or maybe even crushed. It was a huge dream for me to be able to play futsal.

Just when you know it,8 months of new futsal shoes, 4 months of new ftusal ball,you injure your knee.

Then other knee injured.

Swimming also feels painful.

Go to school,people ask you..
"When you gonna get better?" I answer" Soon,maybe after holidays.."
"How's you're leg?" I answer" So so la.."
"Are we gonna go back up to the 4th floor?" I answer "Hopefully,soon.."

LIES.

I dunno why my leg's like this,why the pain's prolonging so long,why I can't live a normal active girl's life,why I'm stuck at home because I'm not allowed to go out to shopping malls etc. UNless with parents.I don't see the difference.

Why my leg is like this,is because of a torn meniscus. I dunno what the crap that is but it's not a minor thing. You wanna know what it is,GOOGLE IT.

I'm as usual frustrated,upset,tired,sleepy..

I miss futsal. It's like going on a food diet for me. It's crazy. I'm itching to play:'(
I miss CF.CF too high to go to and exams are too near for any curricular activity.
OMGOSH,I MISS FRISBEE and NETBALL.
I miss what used to make up 80% of my physical life.

Oh ya. Exams just ended. Why don't I feel happy like everyone else?

Cause' they not cacat.Right.

Chapter 578 - Mraz-piration

2010-05-28T08:23:00.000+08:00

No..but you can.

You don't have to live near the ocean to have an impact on it and you dont have to live near the ocean to have an impact on it. - Jason Mraz

I just spent an entire hour on Jason's Mraz blog. Simply inspirational. The free times [like now] where I ACTUALLY get to surf blogs and read all the post posts,Jason Mraz is the best read so far. Reading his blog lightens the soul and makes you wanna change the world.
Changing the world. A common topic for English essays at school. I wrote probably about more than 10 essays relating to world and how we can make it better.

We learn in the not-so-useful-as-an-SPM-subject Pendidikan Moral about loving the world and the environment.

Menyayangi dan menghargai alam sekeliling
Keharmonian antara manusia dengan alam sekeliling.
Kemapanan alam sekililing.
Peka terhadap isu-isu alam sekitar.

I especially read these few topics in the Moral textbook.

Why?
Because God said so and because I don't want people to live in a sick world in the future,that includes me and you btw.

My wonderful and threatening English teacher whom I genuinely love[I do!] asked us to write an essay on our take on 'Global Warming'.

"I'm only 17,so how am I changing the world?"

I try my best to be environmental friendly. A weak approach to environment,but it could change so much. It isn't an effort that I decided to apprehend, but of my family's influence. Mom and Chi [Kat] have inspired me to go beyond the house borders of recycling and no-plastic-bags when shopping.

I make a conscious effort on bathing in 4 minutes,disgusting but think about it,what's the point of bathing for so long then bathing the next day again. Are you saying I'm lessc lean if I bathe a shorter time? Don't think so:)

Another disgusting fact about a girl named Liesl. I don't bathe before school or in the mornings for that matter. I find it useless because I go to school and get dirty and stinky all voer again that I come home to bathe Sure it makes you fresher and high in the mornings, but it causes me to not sleep eventhough I feel really sleepy.

I hate that feel.

I don't plastic bags when I shop.I bring a backpack eventhough it sometimes doesn't match my outfit [Teehee] and stuf everything I buy. Unfortunately,I only buy gummi bears. Don't really need to put them in my bag since my stomach carries it for me.

I scold my friends for taking plastic bags when I shop with them. I shall bring shopping bags [The "DON'T USE PLASTIC BAGS" bags] for them next time I go Christmas shopping.

I recycle my exam papers:B Once or twice a year,mom makes me clean out the study room that has papers in its nook and cranies.I recycle them:) Which reminds me,I must applaud the wonderful Jabatan Pendidikan Selangor for obviously using recycled paper for our mid-terms! Thank you!!:D

I should write to the Star.

I pray for the little things that I see in the newspapers concerning the environment. Like the mega oil leak in Gulf of Mexico which has apparently hit Florida. That not good,is it?
I don't sleep with air-con anymore. Even if I do,one hour is my max.That's only on very very very hot nights.Quite rare. I have to stop the habit of turning the air-con on when I study in the studyroom. Bad Liesl.
I don't press the flush button to the max when I pee. I hold the flush button down and flush enough water to flush the pee down. Unless I have big business to attend to,then full flush.

What I plan to do to save the place I live in?

Recycle more.Instill recycling in the places I spend most of my time in. Church [We're already doing it,but I'm sure we can do more!] and school. In school,we could recycle so much of that one hour of recess time!The amount of plastic bags when use to carry our keropok lekor and wan tons in could really help the world.
Buy environmental friendly soap and shampoo! I plan to use them on islands especially. My youth helper told us that our shampoo that we use on islands go back to the sea. I don't want to kill the sea!
Bathe under 4 minutes.Still trying.
Reuse paper for just about anything. To do my revision,I use my old school exercise books to scribble on. A feel of satisfaction overwhelms:)
Use the proper plates to eat during recess.
BRING MY OWN CUP TO MCDS!!:D

I can do a lot moe as a teenager.But I can't think of so many right now. I'll achieve all these things first,then maybe think of more:)

The golden question: What are YOU doing to save the world?

If you're bored reading my post,watch this video,then don't come back to my blog. Thanks:D

Itchy-faced kid sings I'm Yours xD

Chapter 577 - Tekanan stres

2010-05-17T19:38:00.000+08:00

Stress.

You try to have an afternoon nap but can't stop thinking about everything in the world.
You go into the study room and you lie on the floor instead of the chair.
You feel cold,even when it isn't raining.
You feel like a fish out of water and take many many deep breaths of air.
You ask yourself whether you're stressing out.
You start telling yourself to calm down.
You start praying that God will help you calm down.
The floor is wet with teardrops.

Am I stressed?

Maybe just a mental breakdown la.

Chapter 577 - Say a little prayer,please:(

2010-05-11T22:40:00.000+08:00

This is a quickie,for this calls for an emergency.

If ya'll have been following the papers,the oil spill at the Gulf of Mexico has been killing so many animals. 32 sea turtles have died so far.I'm a big turtle fan. Birds are dying too because the oil disallows them to fly once their wings gets covered in the oil. BIrds die because they drink the oily water as well.

What happened was,an explosion occured at an oil rig [in the middle of the sea] and gallons of petroleum and oil are leaking out into the sea from the bottom of the sea bed. Thousands of gallons of oil are gushing into the water.

The sea life underwater,like the beautiful corals[they're alive and very delicate btw] and the little creatures like seahorses and everything else will die under the thick layer of oil. Turtles in the sea are dying too.

This is only the beginning of the catastrophe.

Why is it called that? Because they can't fix the oil rig and il will keep gushing out non-stop. They really can do anything because the whole oil rig collapsed in the sea bed and there's nothing they can do.

Everyone else is trying to contain the oil from spreading to the rest of the waters.Wherever the wind or monsoon goes,there the oil will be as well. Trying to contain oil is almost impossible,but with the world's effort right now,it's possible. But it's gonna be a really slow process.

How can we do our part as Malaysians?

Well,keep up with the latest news in the newspapers and PRAY.

I specifically wrote this post to PRAY for the many efforts around the world trying to save our marine life and to save the environment.

Please,I'm begging you,pray.

When 2 or 3 gather to pray,we move the hand of God,so what more 30 of us?

Christians,non- Christians. This is a time where we should do our part for the world. We are stewards[ penjaga-s] of the world and that's why humans were put here in the first place! We learn it even in Moral. Help the world people!

Save the turtles!!!:(

32 deaths of an endangered species...and counting.

Chapter 576 - Dreams

2010-05-08T22:17:00.000+08:00

Dreams are like some weird Mika video. Whacky stuff comes out of no where and did you know they last for only a mere 2 minutes?

Dreams torture me.Because almost every night,I dream and I hate the fact that I dream because dreams make your brains super duper tired. I wake up with heavy eyes.

Somehow dreams just tend to drag you back and makes you keep wanting to know mroe about what happens next. whether it's a nightmares or weird dream or wtv.

Well for nightmares,you usually are drawn to it till you reach the part where you die or about to die.

It's so rare that I have nice dreams.I just had one last night. I dreamt I was playing futsal and I could feel my legs controlling the ball. It felt great. Not being able to play for ages really makes you appreciate the sport a lot more. I'm still passionate for futsal and I won't lose it!I'll force my future kids to play if I can't.Nyehaha. I don't care!

I especially miss playing futsal.

However,gotta wait a few more months before knee gets physio and gets strong enough to kick again.

To think I was going to write my entry on "My Dreams,My Success". Guess I'm too upset right now,not because of dreams,of course:)

Ink Writing finale:
Dreams were only meant to be trapped and kept in our imaginations.I just kept wanting to dream,but reality woke me up.

Chapter 575 - :D

2010-04-18T15:30:00.000+08:00

In my previous post,I wrote about how I wanted to tell ya'll how God made my weekend,right?:)

See,I was talking to Isaac and he made me realize that I was mainly emotional because of certain issues on my mind.

I was worried about my knee.
I went to the orthopedic [some guy who's good with knees] and he said "Well,your knee has improved.."

[Music to my ears!No.1 praise the Lord:D]

I felt like a burden because of my knee in terms of cost.
Not that we couldn't afford or anything,but hospital fees are not cheap!!The doctor asked if my dad was paying by himself and not under insurance,and my dad said yes.The doctor said "Ok I won't charge you then."We had no idea what in the world he was talking about,honest!We went down to pay the bill.The doctor's handwriting,is well..doctor's handwriting. Only nurses and pharmacists can read them somehow. The pharmacist said "Oh he didn't charge you for consultant fee..only RM 1.00" :D

[No.2 Praise the Lord!]

Pn Lim,teacher who hates my guts to the fullest.
Now,this happened a few days before.I ttly cried [So what if I've cred a lot this week,my room,my blog,my life,I'll cry all I want:D] Anyways,I cried because I've never felt so hated before. The whole week I've been going through a really bad time with Pn.Lim.She picks on me and whatever.I cried to God asking him "Why does she hate me so much??"I don't like being hated by people,srsly.I feel super guilty.The next day I had Sejarah. She marked my book and she had a gentle conversation with me about my sibilngs,my parents and what not.It could've been worse,but it couldn't be better either:)

Well,I guess that's about it. Even so,God's lightened my burden for the week and am super relieved.

Another note to be happy about..
BITTER STICK GIRL'S BOOK IS OUT:D!!!
*Insert squeel and one-legged jump here!*

You're probably going like "Wut the who???"

She's a cartoonist and I'm a big fan of her sketches.They really bring laughter:D Worse part,it's only sold in Singapura!!D: Sadface.It's ok,Ill just wait for her to become super famous until they ship the books here:D

Another note! This is ELMO,Red House mascot!!:D IRed house marching totally made my day and I'm so proud of everyone even though Red House probably got last overall!!My apologies for not entering any events in support of our house.As you can see,I can't exactly walk on my own for more than 100m.LOL.

Thanks Nufail for your utmost support and efforts:D!

Ink writing finale:
Ginga makes Frankcheskar laugh a lot!

Chapter 575 - Recovery

2010-04-18T00:01:00.000+08:00

I guess if you asked if I'm OK today,I won't be able to tell if yes or no because I'm still recovering from like mega breakdown yesterday.

I totally don't know what came over me.Suddenly I was this huge crying cookie monster.

I'm like Liv from Bride Wars. She was the strong-headed one,the tough cookie. In the end,she totally softened up and she stopped holding everything in and pretending everything was fine and under control,when the only thing that was outta control and was dying to be released,was herself.

I guess I just figured out like I can't always hold it back. But now,I've gotta learn how to hold some in and be strong again.

That might just take a while.

Huge thank you to Isaac who talked me over it.Since when did you speak words of wisdom?I was literally speechless.

Thank you to everyone and for your concern:) PK,Geri,twins,Zhen Ni,Isaac,Arjund,Chi,Stevo,Samuel Saw,Ammar,Ken,Farhan,Joanne,Shan.Sorry if I forgot anyone<:)

Thank you Zhen Ni for making me realize something that I couldn't realize while I was wallowing.

"Just remember God is by your side always:)"

Indeed he has. And I'll tell ya'll how he has within these 2 days..When mom lets me online again:)

Tata and goodnight to all!:)

Chapter 573 - Tough cookie gone soft

2010-04-16T15:11:00.000+08:00

The whole day at school I was trying so hard not to cry.

Since last Wednesday,most of you should know what day that is, I've not been the same person.

I guess I put on a really good act if you say I seem the same jer.

Well,at home,not really.

I'm srsly so tired and sick of life. I hate thinking at this point of life. I don't even know why I stupidly bother about all the things said about emo r thrown against me. I let every single thing affect me ni anyway possible.

Now I'm so self conscious about how I act around peple that it becomes fake because I'm not being myself anymore.

I've never been so degraded in my life. So degraded that whenever throws negative statements at me,I break down. I totally lose control of my emotions.Thinking about the past 10 days,it's been so bad.You have no complete idea what I've gone through.

I'm probably exaggerating here,as usual.

I'm starting to hate who I am in life.

I guess I'm feeling so much like this because people have never really said negative things towards. Behind my back would be better.I couldn't care less if you backstabbed me,as long as I don't hear it. I guess I've been doing the right things in life that no one could say anything. Either that or I've been doing all the wrong things in life and everyone was just waiting to kill me all at once.

I'm avoiding at all cost,emo songs.Epic fail.

Everything that happens,I keep thinking it's my fault. But I can't help not feeling so bad for whoever. I'm so emotionally attached to all my close friends that I can't control or grab hold of myself at all.

I hate ranting to my friends[sorry everyone:( ] because I feel like I'm burdening.

I rather not talk to anyone at home either because the house since last Wed. I'm scared to enter my house. I'm scared to say anything. Because anything I say might get a reply,and that reply will break me down,as always. I can't talk to my famil members because I'm scared to be transparent anymore.I feels a lot better to keep everything to myself.

I've tried to change to please people. But change is gradual and not instant. Unfortunately,certain people are too impatient to wait and see the changes.

One mroe thing before I end my SUPER ANNOYING RANTING SELF PITY POST is my frekkin leg. Now that you know I used "frekkin",you can tell how ASFHJKOIUYTR I am right now.Seriously,I hate the fact that people use my leg against me. Blaming me like it's my fault that I purposely want to injure my knee. don't frekkin care anymore la. AMPUTATE IT FOR ALL I FREKKIN CARE LA!

"Dalah you injured your knee,for what you wanna go or do this and that.."
"Do summore la,injure your knee summore la.."
"Go la,you won't heal any faster"

I'M NOT FREKKIN HEALING LA OK!I want my leg to heal JUST AS FREKKIN FAST AS ANYONE WOULD WANT IT TO BUT UNFORTUNATELY THAT'S NOT HAPPENING.

I didn't want to frekkin injure my leg on purpose!Yet,I'm in total denial that I don't regret dancing.Because of one thing,I totally wasted my whole form 5 life.I feel so powerless.I hate my crutches eventhough it takes the pain away.I'm so tired. Everyday I have to walk from one place to another,up and down. I HATE THE FACT THAT I'M HALF CRIPPLED OF WTV!

I'm burdening so many people as it is and I know I can do so many things but my frekkin leg is a barrier.I might as well be in a coma,everyone would be happy. I won't be dead,I'll still be alive.

Because I'm so emotionally shattered right now,I can't study. I can't go to school without lying everyday saying I'm OK.

Because of everything,I'm gonna screw up my exams and I really want to do well.

Whatever I do will never be enough.It's the world. Nothing ever is enough for anyone.

I'm so confused about everything.My emotions,studies,my time management,my walk with God,my friends,my knee,my detoriating health,my personality.

It's one giant blur.

About my personality?I'm trying to change. What I feel like doing is disappearing from life now and just try to readjust myself.

I want God to just chisel me into something that he wants to be,pleasing to everyone.
I want go away,away from eberything,away from everyone and just be with God.
I want to change myself.
I want to get away from the depressing city.
I want to peace every morning.
I still want so desperately of getting away from everyone.
I want to RUN AWAY from humanity and the world.

I just want to be alone,with God.

Camerons would be just perfect.

Out of 7 days,I cry on 5 of them.On the 2 days where I don't, I'm just too busy with work to cry.

The people whom I want to talk to are currently unavailable.I'm too upset to leave a message after the beep.

Ink Writing finale:

"If God puts you on hold,don't hang up."

I won't because he's always on the phone. Even if he doesn't say anything.

I'm at the end of myself, I just dropped out of the running
I don't recall when I last pulled the shades and said "here comes the sun, here comes the new day"
Someone remind me again that joy might show up on ocassion
I'm sitting here with my hands on my head, and my eyes on the ground, wondering if I'll be found by You

Will you make me new? Will you take what's left of me?
I guarantee that it won't be a fair trade.
Will you set me free from what's keeping me afraid?
I know I've prayed it all before, but I'm back on the altar

I don't believe what they say about one foot in front of the other
If my life was a map, you'd see every last step just circling around, still lost, never found by You

So will you make me new? Will you take what's left of me?
I guarantee that it won't be a fair trade.
Will you set me free from what's keeping me afraid?
I know I've prayed it all before, but I'm back on the altar

Maybe last year I'd have made empty promises
Maybe last month I'd have tried to pull strings
But I don't have one single chip left to bargain with
The only thing left is me needing You to make me new

Nichole Nordeman- The Altar

Chapter 573 - Sorry won't be enough

2010-04-09T23:19:00.000+08:00

I'm really sorry,Starchild.

Chapter 572 - Hard Knock on the knee Life

2010-04-09T16:31:00.000+08:00

Sigh. Highlight of my small talk conversations.
"How's your knee?"

I can't exactly say it's driving-me-up-the-wall-and-i'm-sick-of-this a.k.a pain because most people will go,"Why?" and stuff.
I appreciate the concern,REALLY,I really do:)

Just that,it's very tiring to keep answering questions where if I'm still on crutches,I obviously am not ok just yet. It's tiring,emotionally,to be constantly reminded of my nagging knee.

Yes,it's been 5 weeks and I'm still on crutches.

If only I went to a doctor sooner,but then there was a fear that we would waste money by getting treated and then go for the Easter dance and get injured again. Hence,I'll only see the doctor tomorrow.

[Replays one of the SAW movie scenes in mind of chopping off her knee below]

I guess I'm feeling really down this week. I've gone through like some 3 day personality check slap by so many parties. My knee isn't making me feel any better about anything. Somehow,you always end up wrong about yourself and you would love to think that others are wrong,but you know they're not. Even God sorta lectured me.

So you can see how much of an attitude adjustment I needed. Kua.

No one could possibly imagine the overwhelming desire to dance,play futsal,frisbee,sit normally,walk normally,badminton,netball,wear high heels,lose my fat thighs and to just be..

..normal again.

Ink Writing finale:
Hide me now,Under your wings,
Cover me,within your mighty hand.
I want to hide from everything.

Chapter 571 - There's a first for everything

2010-04-04T17:03:00.000+08:00

I wrote a poem at 1.13am last night.I never wrote regarding a theme as such before.

It's been a while,hasn't it?

Gangsta' Rabbid :B

Ink Writing finale:
Once I'm ready,you won't be there anymore.Somehow,I can feel it.Wonder if you can..?

Chapter 570 - The Jour-Knee

2010-04-03T22:00:00.000+08:00

Guntaag!I know I know,I've neglected my blog once again. I'm sorry la,I only can go online on weekends,and my weekends are the busiest!

Those who dunno the story,my knee got injured during dance practice. Easter dance practice.I was doing a move and it went "pop" and only Gos knows what happened.

Many of you know about my knee's condition. It's really not that bad. I only go on crutches to lessen the burden on my leg:)Nothing that serious. But it's been almost a month and am still waiting for recovery.

[Owen is sidelined from futsal till further notice]

Ooish,drama sial!

Anyways,let me show you what I've gone thru for the past gazillion [3 1/2] weeks:D

I had like...6 of these sessions.Fun.

Had 5 of these too.
Look at the white patch!I had like a preview no what waxing felt like xD
That's the effect from the cupping.

I believe God gave me this to open different opportunities.I got closer to my classmates as well and I was quite shocked when Diane asked me bout my leg. Thanks everyone for asking:)

Speaking of that,I think I had to answer like 50 ppl about what happened to my leg,in different languages too! xD But all is good:) God is definitely healing it,but slowly of course:)

There were 2 days where I felt NO pain,but it came back.However,it might've been a punishment for doing something. Nevertheless,I will overcome this problem:)

And about the dance,God wants me to do it,by hook or by crook!!And I do want to do it,out of my ♥ for God:)

Thank you,specially to Zhen Ni,Sonia,Johanna ,Smun,Steng,Ammar and Ken who have helped me through the whole thing,physically. Thank you to EVERYONE at church[I could name a few,but it would be mean if I forgot people] and school mates[ Isaac,CF-ers] who prayed for me:)

Thanks to mom for bringing me to acutorture every week and sending me to school early in the morn!

Special special thanks to God!! I know my knee could've ended up worse,but he's been holding it.I can,ni a way,feel Him holding it up for me:)

Ink Writing finale:
Google translates feelings well,doesn't it?

Chapter 569 - "What I like about you....

2010-03-10T23:29:00.001+08:00

...you make me feel alright...

...when you go up down jump around...

*starts jumping up and down*

Hello! I promise a more substantial post on Friday night before I leave for MELAKA!

[Insert twirl here!]

My knee's been in bad condition so don't tell anyone because I might not be able to do sports for awhile.

GASP. You told someone didn't you?!

Anyways,a lot of pressure's on me and I'm scared and worried all at the same time. I can't stop dreaming,which means as Zhen Ni would put it,my mind is not at peace.

Dreams are random and supposed to last for only 2 minutes. Fail!

I'm sitting here fidgeting because my knee is feeling uncomfortable and it exerts this really sharp pain. Gah! No futsal!

And I just started last week.Bee.

Interesting things of the week? One!

Pn. Malar said the first table to give in names of team members and the animal which we wanna present in our topic of "LOCOMOTION" will get their choice of animal. It was between,frogs,lizrds,fishes,earthworms and grasshoppers. Of course,most of you know [or don't know] I'm terribly afraid of insects. Ask anyone! So this was me.

Liesl stands up with the list of names and the words FISH sprawled over the top of the paper.
Brenda gets up as well,from another table.
Zhen Ni shouted,"RUN LIESL!!"
Brenda noticed Liesl,she ran.
Liesl noticed Brenda, she ran faster.

Guess who got the FISHHHH..[Insert victory dance here.]

Conclusion?

All the girls on Brenda's table who wanted fish hate me now. But it's OK because my table got FISH!:D

Bring on the yaws!!

Psst,remind me to blog about Colgate ads and how memorable they are.

Tatafornow!

Ink Writing finale:
I like elephants because they have a huge memory capacity. I remember you have one too.

Chapter 568 - Independence day

2010-03-04T17:40:00.000+08:00

Yes yes,I know I've been MIA from the bloggersphere and seemed as if I was mourning over the death of my cute beloved four-legged sister,JD till I couldn't blog no more. It was her time anyways and she lived a good life here:)

What's been happening ah?

I also dunno la.

Because of JD's death,however,I could not study.At all. It was horrible. But I asked God to put the "panic" in me to study. And he did!

...A day before exams.

Better late than never right?:D

But thank goodness it's only a monthly test. Plenty of things coming right at me starting from tomorrow. Gosh,I never knew I had so many things to do!!And to think I wanted to take dance class this year @.@

Oklah,let's talk about exams laaa..

Scenario: Before maths exam..
Ammar: Wei wei,nak tengok reciprocal graph.
Farhan :*stares blankly as Ammar rummages through his graph papers*
Ammar: Eh mana tu reciprocal??
Farhan: What rice cooker?!?!

The pros of exam stress xD

JD always gave me "Moral" support:)

Chapter 567 - KC's wondering where JD went.

2010-02-23T17:38:00.001+08:00

OBITUARY

J.D. Tan
Beloved sister,daughter,friend,companion.

Rested in peace at 12.45am on the 23rd of February 2010. [2000-2010]

♥♥♥♥♥♥

She spins and she sways
To whatever song plays
Without a care in the world
And I'm sitting here wearing
The weight of the world on my shoulders

It's been a long day
And there's still work to do
She's pulling at me
Saying "Dad, I need you
There's a ball at the castle
And I've been invited
And I need to practice my dancing
Oh, please, Daddy, please?"

So I will dance with Cinderella
While she is here in my arms
'Cause I know something the prince never knew
Oh, I will dance with Cinderella
I don't want to miss even one song
'Cause all too soon the clock will strike midnight
And she'll be gone... [home]

[Cinderella- Steven Curtis Chapman]

♥♥♥♥♥♥

Barkham 7'.

From the very first day you came,
I cradled you in my arms,
When I remember your last moments,frame by frame,
I hope you understood we never meant any harm.

You came a small package,
The family was excited,Maxi too,
To inside the house from the cage,you came,
You were sick then,that's how we show that we love you.

You loved to sleep up on the stairs,
Peep down and spy on our every day do from there,
When family's around,you want to be in attention's center,
Now,you're in the center of our memories,forever.

"JD,JD, do the penguin..",
We loved rolling you to a popiah and made you spin,
JD,JD my black furry pig,
I'll remember your bark,whine,run and even your lick.

At first sight,people may say you were small,
But your bark proved that size didn't matter at all,
You overcame so many obstacles in the past,
You faced your biggest,most painful and final one,at last.

We pampered you with food,comfort,love and clothes even,
I remember most of it because you first came when I was seven,
We grew up together like we were sisters,
I was the older and of course,you were always the youngest daughter.

We faced death once,
When Maxi had to pass away,
You jumped your last dance,
You too had to go away.

At home,
It feels like something's missing,
Where's that little big dog that usually roams,
In these quiet evenings.

JD,you know we'll miss you so much,
Unfortunately death had to do us part,
You suffered pain,internal torture and such,
We stuck by you all the way,never apart.

Matthew 5 says blessed are those who mourn,
For they will be comforted in this moment,so forlorn,
We watched you as you took your last breath,
We wailed as we saw you look at us for the very last time,before your death.

The many tears you cried in pain and suffering,
We cried more in just one grey morning,
Despite it all,we were always a tiny strong fighter,
We're sorry for not ending your battle earlier.

We pray you'll know us when we see you in Heaven,
Hopefully you'll be there,no one can decipher,
We treasure everything since the time to us you were given,
We love you JD,I'll always love you JD,now and forever.

You are mommy's pet,you know, And your daddy loves you so, Close your eyes and go to sleep, Little one.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

You're finally at peace.Tell Maxi we said hi if you found him. You better be there to greet me when we're in heaven,BB.
:(

You lived your whole life in your blue-white coat,"Joseph". Now,you lay with it still,with your favourite red ball we used to play with together.

I ♥ you.

Chapter 566 - Last goodbyes

2010-02-22T23:49:00.000+08:00

Most probably.

Less than 24 hours.

Chapter 565 - No time

2010-02-19T00:45:00.001+08:00

As much as I would hope for, I think that tonight just might be JD's last night. Numerous air bubbles in the IV drip connecting straight into her blood stream. Once it's in,it only takes a few minutes to kill you off completely. IN humans,it works likes that,what more small dogs?

Since everyone's busy playing Black Jack and continues to tell me "See how la.",I don't think she'll live much longer. Maybe I'm being melodramatic but I'm just thinking the worst scenarios before it catches me by surprise. I'm distraught,and it's so emotionally confusing and everything.Everytime I write a post,I cry. No one sees it of course,except God.

No one's taking me seriously about air bubbles and think that it's totally harmless. Whatever la. No one takes me seriously much anyway since I'm the youngest,etc. I can't do anything because I'm not sure how to do it though I googled and roughly know what to do. Without professional guidance,no way man.

Ink Writing finale:
I wake up everyday hoping to see her tail give me one wag and that's all I need to know that she'll make it through the day again.

Chapter 564 - Run,Forrest,Run

2010-02-17T10:11:00.000+08:00

I'm happy.

This is the 6583765th time I've experienced this.

I woke up this morning and all I wanted to do was RUN.

The image of me squatting at the starting line of the MPSJ track for 100m.

[I imagined only myself though,didn't want to embaress myself if I lost,so I pictured only myself:P ]

My heart was pounding so hard,I could hear it going to pop out of my chest.

" Ke garisan.."

I adjusted myself along the line.

"Sedia.."

I made sure the weight was on my hands.

The climax.

*BANG!*

I could feel myself lift off and running as fast as I can.Not fast enough. I hastened my leg movements. Yeah,yeah,a bit faster now. The finish line..

THE FINISH LINE!

The moment my foot set past the finish line,my time was taken.

Too slow. I need to be faster.But how..?

Ink Writing finale:
JD would be a good running companion.Why didn't I think of that earlier?

Chapter 563.5 - Wake up everyone,how can you sleep at a time like this..

2010-02-16T18:35:00.000+08:00

Ink Writing finale:

"Onward!!...?Backward..?"

A sense of curiosity drew her there in first place. Could she turn back? Course she could. But then,suspense would kill her silently when she lies in bed at night and has all the time in the world to think to herself. She spoke to God,but she knew the answer wouldn't come almost instantly. She thought about what she read previously in the day. Is that a sign? Or maybe a warning. Precaution perhaps? Suspense is slowly killing her anyway.

Frankie continued to toss and turn.

Chapter 563 - Hurt

2010-02-16T18:08:00.000+08:00

Quite sometime back in November or October last year,JD couldn't breathe right or walk right. But she was still smiling. JD's been puking since forever because she already had one kidney removed because it was damaged.

Puking was normal to us. We gave her meds and we knew she was gonna be ok.

JD also eats special renal diet dog food because of her condition.

Recently bout 2 weeks ago,JD's been puking everyday. We gave her the usual anti-vomit meds,but no avail. She continued to puke till this very day.

But the whole thing decided to get worst.

She refused to eat. Many of you who know JD,knows that she LOVES food,just like any other Malaysian dog should.

She refuses to eat anything. ANYTHING. She refuses to drink anything. Even water.She suddenly has resulted to starving herself. Maybe it's because she pukes everything she eats and drinks.

She's gotten skinnier and my dogs are known to be the fattiest dogs alive. It's odd to find ehr so skinny. Her shirts are loose around her and 99% of the time,she's lying down because she's too tired.

It's CNY and her doctor whome we trust so much,is not available. Any other doctor who is not familiar with JD's diet and medical history, we prefer not to send her to. Now she's at home with my whole family trying to force-feed her because she doesn't want to eat.

We give her meds,but she pukes out the meds as well. Since the November incident,I had already lost a bit of her in my heart,I admit. I cried day and night over her like I was preparing myself for her death then.

Now,it's hard to watch her in pain everyday.It hurts indeed.But there's nothing I can do about it but try to make her happy and comfortable. She's 8/9 years old already. She's lived quite a crazy life.

Maybe she wants to die,I don't know.

It just sucks when you don't see that happy smiling dog prancing around you when you have food anymore.

Like every owner,I hope she lives a little bit more.

But till when?

Ink Writing finale:
God,I've asked you before to let her live a little bit more until Christmas last year. How long more will you give her,Father?

Hang in there,Bb.

Liesl doesn't have a "look"

2010-02-07T22:24:00.000+08:00

"EH YOU LOOK LIKE JANE!!"

Don't I always to everyone...?-_-"

Chapter 562 - FACEBOOK: Liesl Tan realizes how unpredictable and short life can be:/"

2010-02-07T21:38:00.000+08:00

Indeed,I have.

All these years,it hasn't occurred to me whenever someone falls sick. You know,it's not serious etc will get better. when I had dengue,I knew I wasn't going to die even though I was thinking of all the things that could happen if I did.

[That was the beginning of all the "what-if" thoughts if I would somehow die one day]

My sis's friend's fiancee had just passed away. They got engaged only in December. He was diagnosed in December and was critically ill. The funeral was yesterday. He was only 27.

Scary isn't it how death can suddenly take away someone's life.

I have just heard some news and I'm okay with it. But the difference is..

3 hours ago I thought there's still plenty of time to live.
2 hours ago, I found out there isn't much time left.

You'll never know what just might happen. If anything did happen,I wouldn't know how to react especially towards God.

I know most of you don't get what I'm talking about but just ignore this post because I'm talking to myself and trying to sound wise.

[It's 10.09pm now. I'm wary of that]

Have I ever talked to God above?
Yes I have.

Ink Writing finale:
Frankie throws the shovel aside as she scampers for the bag of seeds. She scatters them around. Still no avail.

Chapter 561 - It's all about.

2010-02-03T22:12:00.000+08:00

Self.

Pity,pity,
Since when was this of me,
She was more than this,
When ever did her character get caught in this twist..?

What's wrong with me.

I'm going through bad changes.

Please be wary that I'm not myself lately.

....I think.

Ink Writing finale:
Call me day,
Call me night,
Call me anytime you need someone to hold you,
To wipe the tears in your eyes.

Let me be your place to hide.

I need to hide for awhile.

Chapter 560 - Harsh much

2010-01-28T14:27:00.000+08:00

In my previous post,I hope you guys understand that I was having a really bad day and I just vented out all anger and emotions into that post. I didn't mean for it to sound so harsh. But I did want to make the points that I made,just in a nicer way..But it didn't turn out that way.

Sorry.

The whole post wasn't just concentrated on one person or two,but many really. It helped me realize that I do that to people sometimes too and it's not fun to be in that position. Please udnerstand guys that the enitre post was a referrence to other friends who have simliar problems like being treated badly and stuff. It's not nice la..

I hope you guys understand:)

Sharkbait,thanks for apologizing.I really appreciate it.You actualyl stopped recently but I think I was just thinking about all the times I've been angry.I didn't mean for it to turn out so harsh,but yeah.Thanks:)

Like I always say,I'll be fine and I'll get over it.

I'm Liesl again:)

Thanks everyone for showing concern yesterday. I wasn't OK,but yeah. Some friends helped me through it:)

Ink Writing finale:
100127: It's one of those days where you feel alone. No one wants to hear you but God.

*Bzzzz,bzzzz*

"Hello?"
"Oi."

God's a great listener and he answers prayers.He knows what makes me happy:)
Now you know why I love God so much..?:)

Chapter 559 - It's getting overboard

2010-01-25T18:54:00.000+08:00

I'm seriously sick of being nice to people who treat me like dirt and who use me like a punching bag.

Picture this.

You always try to do all the right things in life. All the nice things towards others just so people could feel content and less burdened. People tend to take you for granted. I'm NOT like that. I don't get stepped on and I hate being stepped on.You ask people if they're OK,showing concern etc. Sometimes it's understandable they rather not talk about it, but it doesn't give them ANY excuse to diss you off and swear at you or something like that.

PEOPLE WHO SHOW KINDNESS DON'T RECEIVE THAT KIND OF TREATMENT.

You guys should really take a look and see how would it feel like to be always swore at or to always try to be nice and end up getting the grunt or everything. Sure,people have a tolerance level but not to a point where it becomes extreme.

We're supposed to Live Out Love. Some people actually make it a point to ask people's if their day's going OK. Put yourself the second person's shoes. We're supposed to show love to others you need love. A friend once told me that a smile could totally change one's day.

Though many of you aren't aware of it yourselves,but it's true.

Unfortunately for people who try to actually show love to those they care about no matter how high their tolerance level is,they always get the worse of it. I dno't be nice so that people will like me,people be nice to others because they care.

It's emotionally tiring to actually bear the mean words that people say to you for being nice to them.

And for certain issues where I get blamed on for "fun" or "just joking",it's SO NOT FUNNY. It's a painful reminder of things I did do but for right reasons even though people beg to differ.

Srsly,sometimes it's not the best place to be in the world.Being nice. Sometimes,it's better not to care at all. But ever thought that it's against one's principle to not care..?

Sadly,most people don't.

PS: To people whom I've done the unkind things to and not ebing appreciative and stuff,I'm sorry. Esp to Mom,Kat,Dad,certain close friends who have endured my whinings,my frustrations and rants.Thank you.

Ink Writing finale:
Once again,anger pawns Frankie,almost instantly.

Ink Writing finale 2:
'The number you dailled is currently unavailable. After the tone,please record your message.'
:..Hi.Erm..Where are you?

Chapter 558 - Like a can of sardine

2010-01-24T16:14:00.000+08:00

I've had barely anytime to breathe this entire week. Being the Naib Pengerusi and frisbee President,it's been one crazy week. I've been in and out of classes doing work and well I've got one less load to take off because Merentas Desa is over. That means:

No number numbers to write[ for now] No more numbers to give out [for now] No more running around school looking for Pn.Poh and Seng Kiat with The Box.

Being Frisbee president I have to admit is very hectic. he first meeting has the most pressure because the president is responsible for people's first imopression on the club. Like,whether it's interesting or not la.Basically,I had to come up with something spicy for the club.

[We haven't even had our AGM yet!]

At 3.10pm,I sprinted with whatever energy my legs could run with and i reached the place. I was nervous [and really really tired] and I still wasn't sure what to do. But lo and behold,everyone there except for about 3 or 4 people knew how to throw frisbees!!I was so happy!..and relievedB)

[You guys just didn't see that I was xD]

So I just mixed and match everyone into so many teams and everyone played. The new people didn't really want to play,so I invited them to play next week once they are more familiar. I didn't play because I was tired to my eyeballs.

I did think about the other Frisbee schools and wondered what made them so different and better than us?

It's fellowship. The other teams know each other like friends and now each other's names at least. They had constant practice and they helped train each other.

[They have shirts too-_-]

So what I'm planning for the club this year is gonna be [hopefully] epic despite SPM coming up.I'm gonna keep mixing teams up to practice different positions and experimenting players with one another to see who goes well in what and where and with who. It's gonna be tough and take a while,but hopefully we'll pull through.

I'm expecting good results from the friendly we're gonna have with USJ4 in March. Then maybe go against USJ 13 and USJ 8,our final and top contenders in Frisbee.

And guess what..

I really pray we'll do all of this..before I pass down half of my "power" to my Vice Pres in July.

All the best to you,Seafield Frisbee players:)

Regards,
Your President.

We've done it once,we're gonna do it again:)

Chapter 557 - 17 Again

2010-01-23T20:50:00.000+08:00

"..Thank you Lord.."

It somehow hits you that after Merentas Desa,you realize that it's your last year in school.

Bummer.

I ran my last cross country race today. I treasured every step of the way,seriously!At the start of the race,I failed to find the twins and the rest of the gang. I saw some of them standing rigth in front,of course they were the ones who could win medals etc. So I stood by the side. As usual,I laughed when the whistle blew. The guys stood there cheering on the girls [and probably rejoicing that they didn't have to long long to run..]

I smiled as girls ran passed by me while I jogged to the beat of Avril Lavigne's "I'm With You" and "Stay" by Ronan Keating. By the first downhill turning after the uphill stretch,most of the girls I saw jogging around me were missing. Either they were too fast,or I was too slow. I kept telling myself, "Jog at your own pace Liesl,relax." I find it funny how girls sprint when they see me behind them and then later on pancit.

I continue to jog my way with Goo Goo Dolls's "Iris".

Nearing the USJ 2 shops,that was the most straining streth for me because that's where I usually start to walk. To my surprise, I managed to jog more than I've ever done before,jog as in non-stop. After that,I walked and my legs were screaming because for some odd reason,it hurt more to walk fast then to jog. LOL!!

[Sorry legs,I didn't know:/]

I ended that stretch with "Jesus Taking the Wheel."

I jogged pass a few P2 boys and cheered them on. Further up,I saw Yune Lyn's supercalifragilistic bright scrunchie [hairband] from at least 100m away. That was my target. I continued to jog and the Black Eyed Peas decided to gimme the beat to keep going. [Showdown]

My pace,I jogged as usual. To my surprise,I managed to keep up with Yune Lyn and Lee Yuin.I never expected them to be so near me...Honestly,I really didn't. I jogged further up past them and I made the left turning.

THE LAST STRETCH!

The last stretch determined everything in Merentas Desa. It determines the placing you get and it's the most heart wrenching [literally]last 100m! I decided to walk then jog a bit then sprint. However,Lee Yuin totally changed my plans. I was walking ..until I heard footsteps with short intervals behind me.

It's one of those slow-mo scenes where someone's running in the race and you turn behind slowly and you see someone running up close behind you,charging at you like a bull seeing red.I was the red. And Lee Yuin was at warp speed coming up behind me. So I turned my head back to the front and starting sprinting as fast as my legs could bring me.

The school gate. Utter relief. I wasn't sure what music I was listening to when I reached the sign in desk. I grabbed my paper and lo and behold,17 again.

I seriously think God thinks it would be humourous for me to get No.17 for the third time in a row in Merentas Desa. Oh well,I'm not complaining:)

Thank you Isaac,for encouraging me. You didn't see me run but..you get the point la xD Thank you twins also for boundless words of comfort:) Thank you God for not letting my strained muscles get in my way,and the cold banana I ate in the morning:)

I was satisfied but it was kinda sad to see disappointments in the form 5-ers since it's their last run. Guys,you did your best and maybe your body might not have been able to keep up today but be proud of yourselves. You've run your last school race. At least you can run:)

Ink Writing finale:
I remember all the laughs I had. I cherished every moment.Frankie thanks you.

Chapter 556 - In ♥ with Janey's Playlist

2010-01-09T10:37:00.000+08:00

Haven't Met You Yet -Micheal Buble

I'm not surprised,
Not everything lasts,
I've broken my heart so many times I stopped keeping track.
Talk myself in,
I talk myself out,
I get all worked up,
Then I let myself down,

I tried so very hard not to loose it;
I came up with a million excuses,
I thought I thought of every possibility,

And I know some day that it’ll all turn out,
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And I promise you kid that I give so much more than I get~ mmm.......
I just haven't met you yet.

Mmmmm ....

I might have to wait,
I’ll never give up,
I guess it's half timin', and the other half's luck,
Wherever you are,
Whenever it's right,
You'll come outta nowhere and into my life.

And I know that we can be so amazin',
And baby your love is gonna change me,
And now I can see every possibility, mmmmmm....

Somehow I know that it’ll all turn out,
You'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And promise you kid, I'll give so much more than I get, mmmm....
I just haven't met you yet.

They say all’s fair
in love and war
But I won’t need to fight it,
we'll get it right an',
we'll be united

and I know that we can be so amazin',
And bein' in your life is gonna change me,
And now I can see every single possibility, mmmmmm

And someday I know it'll all turn out,
And I'll work to work it out,
Promise you kid I’ll give more than I get
Than I get, than I get, than I get.

Oh, you know it'll all turn out,
and you'll make me work so we can work to work it out,
And promise you kid to give so much more than I get, yeah
I just haven't met you yet.

I just haven't met you yet,
Oh, promise you kid,
To give so much more than I get.

I said love love love love love love love.....
I just haven't met you yet
Love love love .....
So doy day ay ay ay, ay ay yeah
I just haven't met you yet!

JD,my cute penguin dog however won't ever sing that song.

She's spayed.

Chapter 555 - "So Liesl,how's your week been?"

2010-01-08T21:28:00.001+08:00

It's the little things everyone does that makes my day:)

♥♥♥♥

An instant conversation topic.

School.

FIRST week of school.

To be frank,I didn't really like my class on the 1st day.I detested it before I even entered it. no offense to anyone but there are certain people I don't regard as very friendly people,but instead prefer to mingle around people their "status". I'm not saying everyone in my class is like that,perhaps one or two.

But God tells us to never judge people for we have no right to do so.

I am guilty as charged.

On the 2nd day,it kinda got better I guess. I look forward to english and Bio lessons. YESH,Bio with Malar,I is thinking it's AWESOMEZZZZ.

No,seriously.I do.

She keeps my mind engaged. But that's what I say now after just ONE class with her. Who knows what might come next..?

Third time's the charm.I eventually got to ♥ my class a lot better. God has sent people to talk to me and be my friends. I'm so thankful honestly. People I never imagined that I could converse with,like actual conversations,made the first moves. Thanks people! You know who you are:)

Thursday.I was ecstatic.Like I was in overdrive and completely high in class. I couldn't finish my homework because of that!

Liesl: HI!
Sonia:Yes?
Liesl:Go away!!
Sonia:I'll come back later then.
Liesl: Okay. *laughs*

Today.I threw my bag onto my table and walked around.Then it was PJ,but no rough-and-sweaty outdoors today. A group of us grabbed chairs and sat around and talked about randoms.

How parents aren't/are tech savvy,SMS language,music,guitarists,cults,stairway to Heaven backwards,photgraphy.

Etc.

Bryan Loh even talked to me as we were walking to Physics class. He insists only calling me LIESL without an "s". So it's pronounced as "Liel" [LIE-L]

I don't mind. You say "EH!" I'll still respond.

Shi Hui,some random girl I didn't even know spoke to me on the 2nd day of school in Physics class. She just started a convo with me and I was honestly very touched by her first move:)Even today,we talked about Physics.She loves the fact that she's now quite pro in Physics.Wahaha!

Justin,I know you miss me. But Shi Hui shall take over my reign as annoying monkey. She might even hold on to the table legs xD

I'm looking forward to a good year:) With God's unfailing guidance and decision-making He does for me,I def can survive another year:)

I pray He does for you too.

Ink Writing finale 1:
People killing people dying,children hurting,hear them crying.
Do you practice what you preach? Would you turn the other cheek?
Father,father,father help us as you guide us from above.
people,people got me questioning,where is the ♥?

Persecuted but never abandoned.

Ink Writing finale 2:
I wish I could stay.I'm on my knees too.

Ink Writing finale 3:
I had a dream. Song to sing. Fairytale.I see wonders.

I have made it thus far. I can keep making it.

Chapter 554 - A fresh new start

2010-01-03T22:27:00.000+08:00

Halfway throughout my first futsal game in many many weeks,I suddenly remembered..

.."TOMORROW SCHOOL STARTING!!!"..

Then I lost concentration and got emo.

Basically,I dawned upon me that I won't be in my same class where I could be myself and scream and run around class and make weird sounds without anyone judging me for who I really am.

[Besides the fact that some of you are asking me if I'm gowing up to be a nun-_-"]

When I go to school,it'll be that same perhimpunan with the asme 3 songs,the same flags,the same teachers,the same students,same uniform,same hairstyle,same spotcheck of the year.

But the only difference is..when I walk to my classroom,it's no longer overlooking the Taman Herba and next to the ponteng staircase and most of all,I won't see my former 4 Budians. Not all at least. I won't hear the same greeting I've been hearing for the past year 2009 when I enter class.I won't see the same jolly non clique-ish family I had in 4 Budi.

I'm seriously gonna miss you guys.

Socks for me this year because I've got people whom I don't regard well with and two of my girlfriends aren't with me.
Joanne and Nissh,it was nice knowing you.

[Slits wrist with blunt end of knife]

Seriously,I've got no one to do Balalala clock clock with me,neither do I have anyone to chase me around the classrom or outside the lab:(

I hope that Mr. Selva will be the guys PJ teacher and I hope I get a sub teacher for PJ because then I can play futsal. Nyehahaha.Sorry boys,I'm cramping your stylezxzxzxz:P Lucky for you guys,my knees are busted.
Even so,I'll still play:P

[Epic fail,knees.]

Jshnaaaaa just told me we need to have band practice.

[Squeek.]

Toorah!Gotta do some stuffs and I can't believe I'm saying this,sleep at 12am to wake up at 6.50am tomorrow only to run to school:P I have a brilliant history of being late for the first and second day of school. I know,fail.

Ink Writing finale:
It is good,it is good,to give thanks to the Lord on high:D