Chapter 492 -Brave confession of a teenage drama queen.

I'm so so so sorry to those who had to suffer my weirdness and annoyance and sarcasm today. I don't know why I felt like that,but I"m awfully sorry.

To explain the gist of things,I wrote down my thoughts on how I felt today in my Sejarah book,on a plastic that is meant to keep some booklet inside my Sejarah book. Know,like the CD plastic inside our textbooks? Yeah,that one. Somehow by penning down my thoughts,I finally realized [sorta] why I've been so off recently and why I'm so confused.

Don't scold me [mom and dad] for saying this or even like judge me [I don't know how you can] but like yeah. I'm sick of trying to hise it within the fineprints of my blogposts.

I finally realized that I have feelings towards someone I know 110% will not return the same feelings ever,EVER,not like I wish it to happen [seriously,I don't.] and am supressing my feelings so much that I don't even notice it. Which makes me think that I'm over him/her[:P] but I'm actually not because I've been lying to myself and this has been making me go crazy and emotions changing so fast like the crazy weather in Malaysia. So,I'll let the kebenaran fakta fade away slowly. God only knows how long it will. Feelings can't be helped,can they..?

Please for once let me just voice out what I've been thinking over the weeks/months in my blog because I'm too lazy to jot down in my journal. I'm 16,hormonal and deserve the rights to write this and have feelings towards people. So sue me.

By the way..

Simon Sim Song Wei!! We'll miss you too here in Malaysia. No more Adam Lambert screamos from you. Sadface. Take care,don't worry,ovember will come VERY VERY SOON!:) Time flies,my friend! Say hi to the sheep there for me:)

Chapter 491 - Heart melted like marshmallows

My post is as random as my title.

I am beyond sleepy.I was so sleepy till I'm not sleepy. I haven't bathed since I got home from school till now. My melatonin level just got cut off by the computer screen and I'm going to collapse during service tomorrow. Not to mention since my bro is speaking tomorrow,I might just doze off.But I'll try not to. His sermons usually are good.

For once,I went to school and didn't think of anything the day before. Micheal Jackson's death was shocking,and now that's he's gone,I really do feel sad that he is. You'll only miss something when you know its gone.

Oh yeah back to school. My mind was so preoccupied with everyone making real lame jokes or scaring the wits outta me with horror stories. And because of that,I didn't think of that one thing that makes me emo. I feel so happy today,though I don't show it. Thanks to the Brotherhood for keeping me content and smiling through out today. I loved it especially when we played BANG BANG BANG. Most of you reading my blog now should know the game:)

Jay Han: Bang bang bang,who dies?
Me: FIRST! Yvonne: Liesl dies...?
Jay Han: Why she die?
Yvonne: Because she said "first".
Jay and I: Get it get it get it???
Yvonne:Uhhh..nooo..
Jay and I: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~~

Never felt so happy and lvie to be in school. Thanks Annei for not ffk-ing me:D

Ink Writing finale:
Frankie was happy being around by people she loved and returned love back to her. Her heart always glows with warmth:)

My crazy lovable churchies:)My crazy lovable family:)
My crazy loveable friends:)

Chapter 490 - What about now?

"Are you even trying to forget about it?"

I guess I am. But what runs through my mind is trying but at the same time doesn't want to try. Know,it may seem like nothing to most of you,maybe like a piece of cake,simple and easy to cut. But it isn't. Not for me at least.

Surprisingly,the people I didn't expect to be there for me,were there for me and the people I wanted to be there for me,couldn't be there for me due to unavoidable circumstances or maybe they just didn't want to be.

This whole thing's been going on for weeks and I just want to get over with it. Get my life back. But I can't or rather,it's really hard to try to "turn back time".

I know I have people who love me and care for me around me and I know I talk to my close friends everyday but I still feel lonely inside. Somehow,making myself think I'm happy just doesn't cut it.

LOL,I only wrote this post to wait for True Blood Season 2 to load! Wahahaha! *There I go again,sigh.*
Ink Writing finale:

Frankie finally knew that it was merely impossible to skate on the road without specific wheels.This is cake in comparison.

Chapter 489 - A scrub is a guy who think he's fly

Always there when I need my sister even when her boyf's around :P

My blog is starting to sound like Pee's blog. *screams*

"Don't let your emotions control you,control your emotions instead.."- Nah Yaj Nag

[If only it was easier done than said. ]

Thank God for friends who make you laugh and forget about the world.

Stay strong Nissh,it'll end soon.Unconditional love remember?:)
Magical Fireman,plenty of fishes in the sea,especially in college xD!!!

Ink Writing finale:
Yeap. I'm 100% positive you're more mature than me. Totally man,totally.
*chuckles*

Sister like sister.

Chapter 488 - When I'm care about the world

Gosh,it's one of those..

"OHMYGOSHIFEELLIKEJUSTJUMPINGOFFTHESCHOOLBUILDINGANDSCREAMING
ATBOTHYOURFACESBECAUSEEVERYDAYIMPRETENDINGEVEMOREBUTIDONTKNOW
WHATSWRONGWITHMEANDWHYDOIEVENCAREANDWHYWHYWHYWHYWHY
PLEASESOMEONEKILLMENOWLITERALLYANDIJUSTWANTTOGETOVERWITHITNOW
BECAUSEITSMAKINGMYLIFESOMISERABLEBUTWHYSITSOHARDSOMEBODYSAVEME
ANDMAKEMEFORGETEVERYTHINGBECAUSEIMDROWNINGINMYOWNMISERYAND
ANNOYINGOTHERSWITHITAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

..days.

Ink Writing finale:
Wonder when someone will say to you "Shallow Hal,what's a gal?"

Chapter 487 - Buy one,Free one,Gintell...

Mom complains that the girl who says "Daddy,I love you. Bought a Gintell for you"on the radio is a wannabe. LOL.

Campfire night,aiyah no need to say much la. It was really good! I don't know,but it's my first time actually going for one. I usually look forward to the end,DANCE FLOOR! Anyways,good job Scouts! Job well done:D

I have a secret(or maybe to some of you,not so secret la) :

I love to dance.

Now it's no longer a secret xD

No one's actually seen me do it because Cwalking,but thats nothing compared to what I do when I'm alone at home and the music is rushing my heartbeat and gettin me into an adrenalin rush xD Plus,I do it in front of the mirror,how it should be done xD

I owe it all to Jay Han for getting me the ticket! He claims she slept with someone just to get the ticket(PFFFFTTTTT).

Futsal was incredible today. I know sometimes I'm all emo because of futsal but today was a good day. Legs decided to work today. Joel was laughing halfway throughout matches without reason. Haha,that boy ah,very cheeky la xD Gabe also chapek adi,still rembat all the balls. LOL. You shouldn't have man.

Oh ya,today's father's day hor. Bet like I'm supposed to post something mushy,right? Nah. Instead,I'm gonna tell ya'll[coughbragcough] about how happening my dad is.

• He plays badminton EVERY WEEK without fail.
• He knows news faster than I do. Amazing.
• He pronounces certain words really funnily,which usually makes our days.
• My mom doesn't have an engagement ring. Instead,my dad just asked her dad for permisson and married my mom. LOL.
• My dad used to have like a catfish moustache,drapping from the face.
• My dad plays any sport well. Unfair![I think he has more stamina than me too]

I've said everythig I wanted to say in the card already,probably a lot more things I wanted to say but since mine was getting a bit too long,I did a summary la:) Thanks Dy,you da bezzzz:)

Ink Writing finale:
'My heart is broken into a million pieces and only he can mend it..'
Frankie read those words and remembered. She chuckled.

Chapter 486 - Warning: Non emo post

Friday can be the happy booster day or I will kill you if you come within 4 feet of me day.

[Awesome noh?]

Well today is I'll be nice and smile to everyone day!:D

Whole week had like loads of free period,thanks to the generous teachers who give us the benefit of using our spare time wisely like reading books and doing homework.

[Ok,maybe not all of us:P]

Okok,can I like bangga a bit here,well since it's my blog and I feel super happy:D I played er,"futsal" with some of the brotherhood and managed to score at least ONE goal! Oh-ho! It's good to be a girl sometimes because guys cut you some slack xD That's it,it's gonna be futsal on sunday!:D rarara!

Rachel asked me to be usher for CF today. Being totally lost and not knowing half the people there,I just was myself. I think I made pretty strong approaches and it went like..

Me:"HI WELCOME TO CF!!!*MONKEY SMILE*"
Girl: Uhh..*weak smile* hi....
Me: Oops,are you scared of me?
Girl: *Normal smile* haha,uh..no...
Me: Cool! Oh ya,could you please adjourn to the class,we're just about to start:D

Oops,my bad. Hopefully I'll see her at CF next week!:P

What made my day better was..PIANO WAS CANCELLED!! My piano teacher has this history of her cars getting stolen or broken into.This time,someone broke into her car through the window.

Frisbee never felt any better! Oh ya,thanks Annei for letting me like join ya'll for "futsal":) Wasn't like a super good turn up,but we still played and nearly died of dehydration under the sun.Shiok.

I wonder what's in store for me tomorrow besides the fact that I need to study 20 more chapters of the book Acts in 4 hours for a mid year Bible Knowledge exam . Squeel,die. Can't wait to get fat tomorrow at the Dessert Party!!:D

Ink Writing finale:

It was strange talking to Shallow Hal again but because Frankie was all hyped up,she couldn't care less about the world.

"I dont care what you might think about me..."-Jason Mraz

Chapter 485 - Ducks go quack

Avril Lavigne - Happy Ending

So much for my happy ending.

Let's talk this over,
It's not like we're dead,
Was it something I did?
Was it something You said?,
Don't leave me hanging,
In a city so dead,
Held up so high,
On such a breakable thread

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus:]
You were everything, everything that I wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all of the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...

You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things you hide from me
All the shit that you do [CD version]
All the stuff that you do [radio edited version]

You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be

[Chorus]

It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done

Ink Writing Finale:
Shallow Hal tells lies. Now she knows.

Chapter 484.75 - Can't stop

Gosh it's been 15 minutes and I'm back here.

Well,just to let ya'll know again,my blog is slowly transforming into a really sad emo 27 cats[Marcus Pee-like] blog. It won't be very erm,interesting or whatever.I've said it before and I say it again,my blog is somewhere I release my inner thoughts,but usually no one understands them.

I don't know how long I can keep this up,or how long I'll be like this. It's not PMS. Anyhoo,it's gonna be for a while,only God knows how long.

I wish I could cheer up and I definitely wish I wouldn't be forcing myself to laugh to make myself and others think I'm happy. It feels like no one was really there for me then. NO matter how many times I tell my story over and over,it still doesn't feel complete because I'm just waiting for the ending really.[Woah,poetic sial] But if I be emo in the world openly,it just doesn't seem right.

Ok,I don't remember what I just babbled but it was straight from the monkey's mouth. Take care ya'll.

I want my old life back.

Ink Writing Finale 3:

"It all started with barley grains.."

Chapter 484.5 - Don't know why..

I wish I could make myself smile first.

Sadface with apostrophe in the middle.

Chapter 484 - You're not alone,Faddie

At this rate,I might just as well jump off the school building.Quick,maybe not painless.LOL.

On second thoughts,it's not worth it and besides,it was a figure of speech:)

I had D&M conversation with Nissh today and I found out that I never knew one thing.

WHY?

It's strange but even though I didn't know why,I was too engrossed in reality that I didn't have to know why because reality was already too much for me to handle.

Ink Writing Finale:
Frankie's still amazed that she managed an A2 for Biology despite everything that happened.

Note to all the mindless heartless people in Frankie's class, she's not collecting her good friend's papers no more.

Get it right.

Chapter 483 - Once a dream,now a nightmare.

I stare at myself every single day in the mirror and tell myself I can get slimmer.

That has nothing to do with my title. Ah,only a few would know what I meant in the above title. I can't really define how I feel back at school. I'm not like grieving,ok,maybe a little [:P] but I enjoy it at the same time.

Probably towards the end of school I tend to lose the smile on my face. Wish the emo would stay out of class.

Oh ya! Help me a bit here people. Being a girl and all indecisive and stuff, I'm deciding to go to the hair salon,you know what that means! Extensions!!!I'm kidding la! I'm just wondering whether I should chop my hair or just trim it by a few inches.

Write your comments on my Cbox! Bald is not an option,neither is boy cut-.-

But you must take these into consideration that if I chop my hair,I have to hair dry it after I bathe and after I wake up. Which takes quite a bit of time and don't forget I'm in morning session.

Ink Writing Finale:
"See,all the graphs are sad face."

Yeah,so am I.

Chapter 482 - I'vetoomanythingstosaysoi'lljustfilltherestofmyblogwitheverythingthathappenedduringtheholidays

Chilling out with the school people was awesome though I become slightly deaf after karaoke.

Chilling out with the churchies was awesome,getting in touch with the inner kid once in a while is good:) Though I ended up with loads of bruises and mosquito bites.

Watching TV all day long can be lethargic.

Jogging and sprinting on the long beach at Pangkor was the most awesome exercise I ever did in my life.

Eating meat and fats and salads everyday in the USA is torture.

Loving my purchases from the USA including my new VANS! Roar~

Spending time with everyone in USA was so fun but stressful at the same time. Tiring too.

I'm gonna get my life back on track and stop being so hypocritical.

I WILL learn to do a perfect Ollie and wear the tee I bought to reward myself with skateboarding skill achievements.

I WILL record my vain self on camera doing CWalk. It's been ages but I still love doing it.

I WILL exercise a whole lot more.

By the way,those asking "How was USA?",it was awesome. But i'll talk negatively just to throw you off course:P

Over and out[in to bed].
Kepohgirl.

I promise a more substantial post!

Ok. My internet was out till the VERY LAST DAY of my FREEDOM. Sheesh. Thanks Ko. Anyhoo,will promise you more substantial posts! I have SO much to talk about,like literally! I can't keep my mouth shut! [Okla,when necessary I will keep it shut la] Gah I have aural tomorrow. Wonderful.So much to update about my missing life from Malaysia. And when I came back:D

I'm just doing this now as a filler. So that I know updated xD

001. Real Name: Liesl Tan Pei Sian
002. Nickname(s): Monkey,Fatty,Sl',Lees
003. Age: 99
004. Horoscope: Virgo
005. Gender: Dudette
006. Elementary: Tadika SUPERKIDS!!
007. Primary school: SK USJ 2
008. Secondary school: SMK Seafield
009. College: Hopefully Sunway?
010. Hair colour: BRACK.
011. Hair length: I want short hair :B
012. Loud or Quiet: Hahahahahahahahahahahahaa. Go figure.
013. Sweats or Jeans :Jeans
014: Phone or camera: Phone
015. Health Freak: Sometimes.
016. Drink or Smoke: I drink water.
017. Do you have a crush on someone: I hope not. Haha,I don't la. Not anymore...:(
018. Eat or Drink: Starve
019. Piercings: Ears
020. Tattoos: Painful during MRI
021. Social or Anti-social: AHAHAHAHAHAA. Go figure.
022. Righty or lefty: Righty
023. First piercing: Blur
024. First relationship: none
025. First Best Friend: Hong Yee Wern
026. First Award: Err..I don't remember. Being in the newspapers? Does that count?
027. First Kiss: Mommy:)
028. First Pet: Maxi!!My dead dog.
029. First Big Vacation:Mom's womb was pretty comfy:)
030. First Love at first sight: What nonsense.
031. First Big Birthday: The biggest I could remember was the A&W bear at my house!!!
032. First Surgery: Dad poking needle into my foot.
033. First sport you joined: Badminton
034. Orange or Apple juice: Mix?
035. Rock or Rap: I can't decide!!
036. Country or Screamo:CARRIE UNDERWOOD!
037. NSYNC or Backstreet boys: Nsync.
038. Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera: AGUILERA TO THE MAXXXXXX.
039. Night or Day: Day
040. Sun or Moon: Sun
041. TV or Internet: Internet
042. Playstation or XboX: PS?
043. Kiss or hug: Hug
044. Iguana or turtle: Turtle!!!
045. Spider or bee: NONE
046. Fall or spring: Spring
047. Limewire or iTunes: I only use iTunes.
048. Soccer or baseball: SOCCCCCERRRRRR.
049. Eating: is life saving.
050. Drinking: water is good.
051. Excitement level: CRAZY HIGH.
052. I'm about to: interrogate Janey.
053. Listening to: the replay of Shamu! the show on the TV.
054. Plan for today: is SLEEP.
055. Waiting for: this tag to be done.
056. Energy Level: I'm Liesl. What do you think?
057. Thinking of someone: Janey
058. Want kids: After I get married. Patience.
059. Want to get married: when I'm 26!
060. When: -.-
061. How many kids do you want: Let God decide:)
062. Any name on the mind: Gwendoline! Pietro!Pierre!
* 063 & 064 is missing *(Beatr lah; malas nak buat)
065. Mellow future or wild: ???
066. Something you would never try: smoking and drinking and drugs.

067. Which is the better in the person you like(in the future):
068. Lips or Eyes:
069. Romantic or Funny:
070. Shorter or Taller:
071. Protective or Caring:
072. Romantic or Spontaneous:
073. Nice Stomach or Nice Arms:
074. Sensitive or Loud:
075. Hook-up or Relationship:
076. Trouble Maker or Hesitant:
077. Muscular or normal:

078. Kissed a stranger: The A&W BEAR O_o
079. Broken a bone: Not sure. Xray!
080. Lost glasses or contacts: I broke my glasses....
081. Ran away from home: From a hotel room:D
082. Held a gun/knife for self defense: ..not really...
083. Killed somebody: I hated people before.
084. Broken someone's heart: Yes.
085. Had your heart broken: Yes.
086. Been arrested: Y----hey...Trick question! No.
087. Cried when someone died: Maxi:(
088. Liked a friend more than a friend: Yes
089. Do you believe in yourself: Course. I believe that I lost weight.
090. Miracles: With God,anything is possible:D
* 091 is missing * (Beatr sangat malas lah, haha)
092. Heaven: Yes
093. When do you want to die: After I see my grandchildren. LOL.
094. Tooth Fairy: Nope
095. Kiss on the first date: Nope
096. Angels: Yes!
097. Is there 1 person you want to be with right now?: Chi:)
098. Are you seriously happy with where you're in life now: Yes.
099. Do you believe in God: DOH.
100. Post as 100 truths and tag 10 people: Lazy to tag la.

Chapter 527 - God is good!

I just wanna share this.

One day,I was hungry for some delicious Ikea strawberry centered biscuits. Mmm,almost like gummy bears with biscuits. Then,I realized I had eaten all the strawberry centered ones the day before! I didn't know what to eat..So hungry.. But then,I was like,what are the odds of me finding biscuits inside the container? Lo and behold,underneath the other biscuits were 2 strawberry centered ones!! :D

God is good to my stomach:)

Ah!! The cookie pincher!! Beware..