WARNING: Read only if you care. If you're gonna think this is some selfish post about myself and that I'm only complaining,don't read my blog from now till forevermore. Super long post.
The week's been uber tiring. I'm not joking. I haven't been able to get naps,or enough sleep for that matter. On average,I only get 5 hours of sleep a day,and through out the day,I have activities back to back. I think it's more tiring this year also because I have more tuition and it really drains my brain juice.
Thursday and Friday's exhaustion led me to practically half dead today with triple eyelids,I kid you not. We also had school today and here I am,sick and feeling unenergetic except for the back up battery pack left enough for my fingers to type and my mouth to speak. To think I was going to do homework,but my brain refuses to work.
Friday and Saturday took it's toll on me. Been crying every moment I'm free or not doing anything. But as you can see,I hardly have any free time to even play with JD or have a chat with my siblings,even Jane for that matter.
Let's start with Friday.
As planned,CF,lunch,then piano. I do not understand why I still have to take piano when it doesn't benefit me in any way whatsoever because my teacher is useless when it comes to teaching me things that I like to play,like church songs. Instead,I admit,I rebel against her.I only practice my songs so that my teacher would be entertained and not give the exact same comments as last week and just to please my mom. I wanted someone to hear my opinion but I still never got the chance to because you know, being the youngest and having the most pressure on and stuff.
Soon after,I went for frisbee. Billy got kicked out of his president post and Ashwin got in. Ashwin,the useless guy who doesn't do any work and leaves the club hanging in mid air. I was tired enough and what more emotional. When I reached there LATE,because I had my piano class,I heard that even I got kicked out of MY post as vice president,but because of my friends,I got re-elected as Vice Pres 2. After I settled my anger when Khai Mun had a small chat with me,I was prepared to just do what I was supposed to do unlike Ashwin,the useless boy.We broke the trainers and students up,form by form. So,I had to take on the Form 6-ers,obnoxious irritating immature form 6-ers. When the form 6-ers got settled and started to play a game,I left them to Marcus,Ryan and the golden whistle.
I headed over to the form 4-ers who were finding something to do,so I suggested playing a game,gathered a few peeps and played. After that,I ran off to the form 3-ers who were surrounfding Issac as he was sitting on the floor. I panicked for a moment and wondered what happened. Aparently,Issac said they were bored with the backhand practices and he didn't know what to do next. So I broke them into a game,again. 10 aside,there was absolutely no way they were gonna play. Just in the nick of time,the whistle blew,means it was time to go HOME. I stayed back till 6 because the seniors wanted to have a match. I felt so relieved and care free during the game. I was happy to stay back too because I managed to catch up with the girlies:)
Saturday.. I was worship leading not too long ago during youth[TRU] and my worship didn't go as planned. My worship was supposed to be short and on time,but in the end,it messed up so badly it ended within 15 mins,half of what a usual should be.
Mistake after mistake.
Tears welded up in my eyes during worship but I held back. I hesitated,I just wanted to say "Sorry,worship's pretty much over." But I wanted to make my points clear,so I continued. And it ended with me, wanting to go home so badly,lock myself in my room for the whole night and cry the tears I've been holding the entire week.
I'm pretty much stressed up,and it's only been 2 weeks of school. I think my school gives TOO much homework. And I don't usually make a big issue on homework. New responsibilities, new priorities,not a new Liesl.Too much load for someone who's only been form 4 for 2 weeks.
Everyday,I just feel like going home and releasing my tears,I don't know why.Been wanting to talk to any of my friends about how horrible or awesome my day was.It's weird to do so and plus,no one would want to just listen to me blabberr about my life:) It's hard to just listen. Only God listens,but you don't get immediate responses. But I'm used to it.Even to my besties,honestly,I don't talk much about stress ever since school started. It just never occured to me that I would ever feel stressed because I always avoid getting stressed,knowing how much it would affect me. With my commitment to co-curriculur activities and stuff this year,I'm even more pressurized because my grades MUST not go down. It's quite hard for parents to understand esp when you're just starting out form 4 and you know how you won't get straight A's at your first form 4 exam. I might even fail one of my papers.
My health's going down the train as well and I've got homework deadlines. Migraines are coming back to me again. One migraine a day and I don't get to nap. So,right now,I was on the verge of puking my insides out because today I skipped lunch and went straight for BK. We were to eat Coriander [the gross leafy stuff on steam fish,the smelly ones] as part of our activity today at Youth. Even till now,I still feel a bit woozy.
I can't do anything but wait for God to help me out here.
Ink writing Finale:
Truth is,as much as I want to,there's just no more time to cry.
My family and I decided to also have this small simple feast on the eve of CNY eve xD It was definitely different. I mean,my mom made Pong Tae [ A porky dish] and brought it all the way there while we were on the plane! Awesomeness!:D
JANEY!!
Us trying to be lala. Epic FAIL.
Retard pic no. 2! NYOM NYOM!
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